So I had my first Match.com date the other day. It was like a spur of the moment thing; he sent me an email and asked if I wanted some drinks. Of course I do!
But ok why didn't I even know his name? I had to run home to check my computer to get it again. I know, that's trife right? We met at a bar. The convo was cool; he kinda had signs of being a know-it-all though. We laughed and talked about a lot of things. It wasn't a bad evening at all to be honest. But on a kickin' it level, it doesn't look promising.
"Your silky words are sweet,
But your pockets sho' look empty."
"Your silky words are sweet,
But your pockets sho' look empty."
I think I am gonna start giving these guys names like Flav did on Flava of Love. We will call this one Shorty-Mac because he was about 5' 6" tall (or less) I think. I noticed something in common with these shorty men who try to push up though - bellies. I don't know, maybe I am hard on these fellas with bellies. What I am supposed to do with that in the bedroom, rub on it like I do my cat's belly? Beat it like a drum? Nuh uh. Now is that shallow? Is it superficial? I mean do we females get a pass for having a big ol' beach ball in front of us unless we are pregnant? I think not. It's all about what our preferences are at the end of the day and I don't think I can get it in with all that misplaced body meat. I could get nasty with what I'm thinking but I'm not. All I'm gonna say is I think it would be in the way. Of course the ones with the pot bellies will say otherwise, but I ain't even trying to find out what they do on the real. I saw pictures in a book at a sex toy party of how men with bellies get it in, and the options for different positions look limited.
"The drooping potbelly "buries" the male organ inside the folds of fat and makes it look smaller."
A old 'friend' sent me a text of his 'thang' about a month back. It was just beautiful and it looked quite delicious. It made me wanna just get...(fanning my face). Time out. LOL. Stop that girl. So if a pot belly man sent me a text of his 'thang' would I say the same?
"The drooping potbelly "buries" the male organ inside the folds of fat and makes it look smaller."
A old 'friend' sent me a text of his 'thang' about a month back. It was just beautiful and it looked quite delicious. It made me wanna just get...(fanning my face). Time out. LOL. Stop that girl. So if a pot belly man sent me a text of his 'thang' would I say the same?
Let me stop because this post is getting dirtier the more and more I type...
Last night I did something I haven't done in years. I went to a club/party by myself. It was an old school dance party in NYC sponsored by the radio station. It was a friggin blizzard but I put some pants on under my dress and put my shoes in my bag and hopped on the bus to the city. And I'm not gonna lie, the brothers had me feeling kinda good about myself. I was gassed up. One man gave me his number and said that if I called him he would probably piss on himself? It may not have been the smoothest line but it was funny as hell when he said it.
So if I go to this party again, I think I will do the solo thing. It was a lot more fun I'm telling you! I had a nice time and was able to shake off a little rust off this body before the year ends. In fact everyone there was probably doing the same as this party was definitely for a 'mature' crowd - mostly 40s and up I think. I loved seeing the older people dance into the wee hours of the morning! It was very cool to see. And man you could tell those who were party people in their hey day. I guess I was so amazed because I hardly ever saw the older folks in my family dance. While I watched the dancers I said to myself that I hope that will be me one day; dancing at 50 plus and not caring how late it is or who is looking at me.
Last night I did something I haven't done in years. I went to a club/party by myself. It was an old school dance party in NYC sponsored by the radio station. It was a friggin blizzard but I put some pants on under my dress and put my shoes in my bag and hopped on the bus to the city. And I'm not gonna lie, the brothers had me feeling kinda good about myself. I was gassed up. One man gave me his number and said that if I called him he would probably piss on himself? It may not have been the smoothest line but it was funny as hell when he said it.
So if I go to this party again, I think I will do the solo thing. It was a lot more fun I'm telling you! I had a nice time and was able to shake off a little rust off this body before the year ends. In fact everyone there was probably doing the same as this party was definitely for a 'mature' crowd - mostly 40s and up I think. I loved seeing the older people dance into the wee hours of the morning! It was very cool to see. And man you could tell those who were party people in their hey day. I guess I was so amazed because I hardly ever saw the older folks in my family dance. While I watched the dancers I said to myself that I hope that will be me one day; dancing at 50 plus and not caring how late it is or who is looking at me.
So after I left I'm walking to the subway at like 4:15am and it was like 10 inches of snow on the ground and still coming down fast. Then the next thing you know this skinny white guy passes me on Broadway near Times Square with just boxers, a Santa Claus hat, and dress shoes on? For real! No lie! He was just running in all that snow and slush like it was no problem. I told my friend about it and he said he probably was on meth or something. I don't know what it was, but only in NYC would you see that shyt in a blizzard on a Saturday night.
Only two weeks left in the year. Am I hanging out on New Year's Eve or what?
Only two weeks left in the year. Am I hanging out on New Year's Eve or what?
I'm getting a lot of winks and messages from the Caucasian men on Match.com . Hmmm....
A friend is trying to get close to me (but his belly is in the way)...hmmmm.
"Your silky words are sweet,
But your pockets sho' look empty."
