Sunday, January 13, 2013

Where You Been?

(sits back and exhales...)
Finally.  I have carved out some time to blog.  I hold my head in shame for neglecting this blog like I have.  Damn.  For one I am so glad that NC17 has not taken me off his blogroll because if it weren't for him I probably wouldn't have anybody landing on this page to begin with.  I truly need to keep riding his coattails so at times I feel the need to keep blogging out of fear of being dropped by him!  LOL.  And I can't have that!  I don't have thousands of followers but the ones I do have I know I owe a lot of them to people clicking on the link over at Black Girls Are Easy.
But of course I don't just blog to keep my status up over on his site.  I have had tons of things to write about, and I do it to get things off my mind or make things clearer.  It's just been hard finding the place and time to do write.  I used to write all of those wonderful masterpieces while at work, but for the past year or so I haven't been able to do that.  Now that things are fugged up at the job and I'm working on leaving, I just have to rearrange my life and squeeze in time to do the things that I want to do --- like writing.  I felt that I was losing my touch, and my writing skills were getting rusty.  As I get older I even think that I have now have a touch of dyslexia, and I'll write something and when I read it, it sounds totally whack.  But I am gonna pound out this blog post anyway even if it kills me.  I have to bartend tonight (ugh, don't know why I volunteered because I got mad personal shyt to do), but I'm not gonna do another thing until I write this.  No matter what.  The girl is gonna write!! 
So what's first on the list? 
Should I talk about my mother telling me that I embarassed her yesterday after learning that I was a Broke Ass Woman after her nosey azz sister read something about me?  
Should I talk about that my job basically told me to get the f*ck on because I don't lick my manager's azz enough to his standards?  Well that's one of the reasons anyways.  LOL.  I'm not perfect but I do a decent enough job. 
Or how about some bar stories???!!  Yeah, yeah.  (rubs chin)
Should I talk about these hating azz broads at the bar I work with?  Or how about the time when this man called me a bytch over a $5.00 drink he felt he was cheated on? wait a minute!  Here's a good one.  I could write about The Artist Formerly Known as Cornrows turning into a possessive little weenie bytch!!!  That's probably the best story I have from 2012.  He caught feelings so hard that he would call me hollering about me talking too long to people at the bar, or that  he felt like he was my secret lover (which he was), and then the grand finale when he texted me calling me a trick and a hoe after he saw another dude in my car.  I can put anybody in my car that I want muthafucca!   I wasn't trying to hurt anybody, but it makes me exhausted just thinking about his insecure, weenie azz.  I think his birthday is this month too.  F*cker. 
I could talk about my pseudo boo boo, Mr. Trinidad, whose breath sometimes smells like boo.  No lie.  I think it's something internal going on with him because sometimes his breath smells like azz.  Once I went in the bathroom at work and someone had taken a dump, and it reminded me of his mouth.  Word.  If it wasn't for the "thickness" of that member I probably would have bounced a long time ago.  I keep him around because he is sweet and very thoughtful.  More thoughtful than anyone I have ever met.  He was my backup to The Artist Formerly Known as Cornrows and he was the alter ego of Tin Man who was a complete nightmare.  What we have is pretty good though, however there is one problem.  Sigh.  More on that later.
Then there is Tin Man.  The Monster.  The Weirdo.  The Aloof Moron.  The Heartbreaker.  We spoke the other day.  As much as he is a big zero to me, hearing his voice stirred something inside that made me want to feel it just one more time.  I think he could sense it  too, and dudes know how to reel you in once they got you going---they send you a stock photo of their dyck.  Yep.  That is exactly what Tin Man promptly did.  He was on it!  And he made sure that the one he sent was a close up where you could see that his thang was just bursting with flavor and ready to go!  Damn him!  At first I felt a tinge of insult when he sent it, but that feeling quickly subsided.  Now I really think we should just f*ck and go back to not talking again.   Hmmm, I dunno.  He is sooooo fluckin' whack and lame.  Not sure if it's worth it the effort. 
A new story is developing too.  The female clerk at the post office wants to have sex with me.   I can tell.  She stares at me and smiles like she wants to eat me.  I always sensed something funny in her eye contact but last week she was looking at me in that "way".  Hard.  I think she is like five minutes from going in for the kill.  It ain't gonna happen though.

And last but not least, there's Shallow Hal.  He has just gotten too hard to take as of late.  I'll just let those blog posts speak for themselves on what I mean by that.  I haven't spoken to him lately but I bet one of them gals ends up preggo in 2013.  I tried to make a bet with him on that and he would only make a three month bet.  I wanted to bet for the entire year.  Obvioulsy he knows he can't trust his reckless dyck to go a whole year "raw riding" two fertile 30-something women.
So what shall it be?  Maybe these little snipets are enough.  I know that is a lot negative stuff.  A lot.

Hmmm...what's good to talk about?
Well I saved $29K.  That's up about $17K from last year.  That's pretty good since I filed bankruptcy about two years ago.  I also went to the Dominican Republic and I was back in the Bahamas for solo trips.   I was a bit reckless when I was out there but I made it back in one piece.  I do stupid things with strangers and I need to be kicked in my azz.   Then the plane back from Miami lost an engine and I thought I was gonna die in a crash!   Emergency trucks and people were crying and everythang!  It was so scary.  It was one of the worst experiences in my life.
So I'm thinking.  Thinking.  Thinking.  What first?
In the meantime, I'll pat myself on the back and check the blog off the list for today.  I just need to bring my azz back sometime this week! 
I'll think about what to write while I go and organize my shoes.  I'm gonna take a guess and say I own probably 100 pairs.  And just bought another pair today; another pair that I don't need.
That's ridiculous right?  I clearly have a problem. 

More later.


  1. Much as I enjoy reading your blog, I feel that you should make sure you take care of yourself first and if that means you have to neglect your blog then you do what you have to. But congrats on the saving money thing. That is amazing. I am also so envious of you being able to go on trips. Also happy 2013 to you.

  2. Thanks April. As much as I spend I do try to save. :)

    An actually blogging does help a little bit. I actually felt frustrated that I wasn't getting to the blog. I actually feel good after I see the final product...minus the typos and missing words. I'm getting old. lol.

  3. Writing is an outlet for a lot of people. I still keep a diary after all these years (aside from my blogs) and i feel like scum when i go longer than a few days without writing, even if i have nothing to write about lol. Happy New Year Madam...may 2013 be better than 2012 :)

    Sidenote: i don't remember how i stumbled upon your corner of the universe but i don't think it was through NC17's blog. I didn't even know he had a blogroll. I had to actually go look lol

  4. Welcome back hun! I missed you much but I love the sporadic posts. Quality over quantity, kwim?

    So you went to DR by yourself? Kewl. I went to Cabo by myself in October. Do share what airline you were on that was about to damn near crash so I can avoid it like the plague...LOL

    Anyway, cheers to making it to another year!

  5. Glad that you're back!!! The snipets were cool & it felt as if I was catching up with a friend that I haven't spoken to in a few months. lol I'd like to know how you managed to save 29k (i know you don't have kids) but still managed to have fun & buy shoes. This needs to be told to the masses lol more like "how i'm not so broke afer all" post hahaha clearly I'm no writer nor blogger.
    Anywho, just glad that your back!

  6. Hi everyone,

    Thanks for checking in! I'm getting choked up that y'all came and read my post after all this time.

    Glad I'm back to. This year is off to a rocky start, so I predict I will banging away on the keyboard quite often now.

    1. LadyNgo...did u check out his site yet? I think u will def be back on it.

      Jetaime...The airline was delta. The pilot announced it as we got closer I guess because the landing was supposed to pretty bad or something. It wasn't, but we hovered in the air so long and I think we were dropping fuel. Who knows, all I know was that I was scared to death.

  7. I'm sooooooo glad you're back!!! Your posts give me life even on my worst day. You inspired me to start my own blog. Take care of yourself :o)

  8. Just passing through and you caught my attention, transparency is key and I love when we can be real, honest and true to ourselves. We all can relate and see something in others that teach us about ourselves. Your pause will give me a chance to catch up w/everybody

    New follower for sure...

  9. Just randomly discovered your blog and I love it. I love the honesty and realness you choose to share. You have now gained a new follower. Check out my blog too when you get the chance. If ya like, pls follow

    Cherry Lips Cocoa Hips

  10. "Once I went in the bathroom at work and someone had taken a dump, and it reminded me of his mouth. Word"
    LMFAOOO!!!! good to see you writing again, def missed you on the timeline!
    & wait whatttt.....tinman? gtfoh!!! we gotta speak on that...but ima just share my new motto for with it what you will: #ZEROTOLERANCE in all aspects of is flying by to go backwards..but also no judgement. lol you can do no wrong in my eyes! lol
    have a beautiful valentines day lady! :-)

  11. As inevitable and predictable a crash and burn as imagined - so sad!