Saturday, April 21, 2012

Interview with a Dog: Revelation

"That's when Shallow Hal reveals something to me that even I couldn't take..."

That's the last sentence I wrote in the prior post. 

I'm sitting here watching Dateline about a woman who knew her husband killed two people and didn't say anything about it for years.  Eventually she did because the husband had viciously beat their young daughter.  I'm sure that there are many that would tell her that she was wrong for not turning her husband in right away, even though she explained what caused her to delay.  I'm sure she will always have someone that will not agree with her decision to keep her husband's secret.

As for writing about Shallow Hal, the purpose was to somehow purge the events from my mind.  But in doing that, the feedback is bothering me because no matter how many different ways I explain things, the judging will still be there.  Like what I speak about is some new or unheard of shyt.  Shallow Hal BEEN a dog; those two chicks BEEN in the picture years before me.  Nothing I do is causing anything.  Shallow Hal does his own shyt and makes his own decisions.  I ain't impacting a damn thing that man does with those two women.  I'm just listening.  And yeah...I screwed him too.  But it ain't about his d*ck (actually he is pretty basic in the bed).  It ain't about his money.  I said what it was about and as I said before I don't have to explain it or make anyone understand.  I could be like that woman and keep it to myself.  I didn't though.  I posted it to the world.  Doesn't mean I'm proud about it.  Do I sound like I'm proud about it?

(oooh, I sound kinda angry don't I?)

Posting it to the WORLD.....THE WORLD!!!!!  Girl, that doesn't seem to be helping me AT ALL lately.  That's partly the point of this blog...or so I thought!  I don't need to hear shyt about me.  I pay someone to talk to me about my shyt. 

Soooo...what I would have spoken about on the next blog would have been too much for some to handle I think. would be too much and I won't even take it there.  I will go ahead and write the posts to serve MY PURPOSES, but it probably won't be published.  What's the point?   Anyway what I ended up doing I never thought I would do, but it don't matter.  It's really my business anyway, I just put it out there.  LOL.  What the hell did I do THAT for?

If I sat back and judged Shallow Hal, he would stop talking to me about it.  So if someone judged me about something, then guess what...I would shut up about it too.  Anyone would.  Anyone. 

Looks like I will do just that.  I have other stuff to talk about for the time being.  I was working on that post last week.  This Shallow Hal situation is dead for now.

Hmmmm, I can hear it now...

"Well why you put it out there if you don't wanna hear someone's true opinion?"

You know how you tell someone something and you just want them to listen --- and shut the f*ck up?  That would be my answer to that.  Also maybe because it is my personal shyt?  Or maybe I never really asked for an opinion on me?  The opinions about Shallow Hal and Miss C and Miss New York don't affect them because they don't know shyt about this blog.  So talk about them all day. 


In any case, as for the blog I am still shocked that people would actually read my baloney?  :)  Lost some people and gained a few but that's okay.  Maybe I disgusted them too much, but that's cool.  Move on if the blog bothers you or what I do bothers you.  I guess that's what I'm doing essentially.  Moving on from posts about Shallow Hal if publishing them ain't working for me right now.

Plus writing these blogs is pure labor.  Organzing the stories and making it flow together is not easy at all!  It takes a very long time to write those posts.  I sure don't wanna feel any type of way about my posts after I spent hours putting them together.

Anyway who knows, I might change my mind about it.  I'll talk to the therapist about it.  I got mad other shyt going on with an IRS audit, my side biz, bartending, and my regular gig to have my heart flutter nervously whenever I get notified of a comment.   

I guess I'm a sensitive wimp.  No matter how old I get.  Still sensitive.  Still a weenie.  Oh well. 

Whew...I feel better already!!!!!  The power of writing is really therapeutic.

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Interview with a Dog: Part VII - And Then There Was Me...

It's 8:30am in the morning and I'm walking to the subway.  It's Christmas time but you can't tell because there isn't a lick of snow on the ground and it's not very cold.   People are bustling about, dashing in front of me and walking on my heels.  Even though I totally hate that there's no point of complaining about it.  No one 'strolls' on a NYC street at 8:30am anyway.  You betta be walking fast cuz people got places to be and you will get bumped, stepped on, or passed and the culprit will be gone before you can even look around.

So I'm focused.  It's early but I can still try to get my strut on and do my Miss America runway thang for the block I have to walk.  I was workin' my shoes and emitting so much 'tude that it was blinding folks.  (Just kidding.  I ain't big headed like that.)  But my swagger doesn't last for long.  My phone starts buzzing in my purse and I fumble thru the shyt in my bag to find it.  It's Shallow Hal.  I literally stopped in my tracks when he said....

"New York found out that I just had another baby."

Me:  "Word?  How did she find out?"
SH:  "Facebook.  Somebody put some pics or something up on Facebook."

I wanted to say, "I TOLD YOU!" But I didn't.  I just let it be because I could hear the stress in his voice.

Me: "So what did she do?  What did she say?"
SH: "She sent all of these crazy texts.  'How could you do this to me?'  'You lied to me.'  'You fuckin' liar.  You got her pregnant when you went to our country.  I was pregnant too.'  "Now I know why I couldn't live with you when I asked you.' Just a bunch of stuff."

I think she said something way more powerful than this but he wouldn't elaborate.  I noticed that he doesn't repeat much if he gets called out.  I think that's because he just erases it from his mind.

Me: "So what are you gonna do now?"
SH: "I'm just gonna tell her that I didn't lie.  The baby was in the hospital.  She knew I had other kids."
Me: " Are you serious?"
SH:  "Yeah, I'll get out of it.  I will tell her that I didn't want to upset her because she was sick with our kid.  Her blood pressure was high and I didn't want to make her more sick."
Me:  "I don't like that.  Just tell her you didn't know HOW to tell her.  Time just kept passing and you just didn't know how to tell her."
SH:  "Nah, I ain't worried about it too much.  I'll just call her and tell her that I didn't lie."

Of course I didn't think it would work.  Who would accept that as a reason?  Not sure if I would???  Forty minutes or so go by and then he calls me back.

SH:  "I called her."
Me:  "Ok that was short.  What happened?"
SH:  "She asked me why did I lie about the kid being in the hospital.  She asked about the woman and was I married to her.  She asked if I was planning to marry her."
Me: "Ok."
SH:  "But you know what she asked me that was funny?  She asked me how was I stayin with her on the weekends when the woman was by herself pregnant at my house."
Me:  "And?"
SH:  "I told her that I would tell Miss C that I was coming to see my kid.  She can't stop me from doing that. "
Then what he tells next I never in a million years would have expected to hear.
SH:  "You know I give her about $1000 a month right now since the baby was born.  She asked me how could I afford to pay her that and then I have two kids and this other woman living with me in New Jersey.  I told her that it wasn't easy. And you know what she said....

"She said that when she gets a job, I can give her less money because she knows it is probably hard on me."

I just held the phone in silence.  I was in fckin disbelief.

SH:  "Hello???"
Me:  "!  That's pretty amazing."

I could tell Shallow Hal was smiling over the phone and I could hear the relief in his voice.

SH: "Yeah NY is just like that.  Of the two women she has the better heart."

We wrap up the call, but I had to stand there and process it.  He actually got out of that shyt????  She actually offered to accept LESS MONEY for her and her kid?  She had been dating him for three years, he gets another woman pregnant TWICE, they were both due in the same month, and she tells him that she will take LESS MONEY???

Un.fuggin.believable. I had to say it myself, that girl is really something else.  Or she must be really in love.  When I told the therapist about it, she sat there just as surprised as I was.  With wide open eyes she said, “Wow, he really knows how to pick ‘em.”  I agreed.

Even with her angelic offering to Hal, New York still sends him texts saying random stuff daily.  Shallow Hal tells her that she is trying to make him feel guilty, and honestly I think it works most times.  He says he ignores those texts when she sends them, but obviously the girl is still hurt and confused.  Forgiving him one minute; then cursing him the next.

I swear Shallow Hal must be bullet proof.  Not that I was waiting for shyt to blow up in his face, but he literally talks (or not talks) his way out of his messes.  He leaves a trail of destruction and then just comes out on the other side of it without a mark on him.  He always says, “I deal with it when the time comes. Not gonna worry about it now.”  And that apparently seems to be working.  If he gets found out, he will weather the storm and wait until it passes.  It’s just that simple.  He truly is a textbook definition of a player.

Now that the babies are here I still correspond with Shallow Hal, but I'm seeing him less and less.  Just like I expected.  I start to kick up my online shopping for fellas (not that I ever stopped) and Shallow Hal would always ask me about it.  Oh did I mention that he was still on the dating site too?  Looking at who sent him messages and what not even though he has all of these women in his life.  I mean he stays wanting new p*ssy.  Shallow Hal told me that he was cool f*ckin' who he wants to f*ck, but he is not cool with his chick seeing someone else.  He would have a BIG problem with that.  He would feel betrayed.

Why is it that dogs wanna be a dog
but expect the woman to be faithful to them? 

Number one.  Dogs are usually greedy and have big appetites.  They don't wanna share.  Number two.  They wanna keep their chicks on lock because they probably couldn’t handle themselves what they do to other people.   At least that's my opinion anyways.  Hal would ask about my dates and if I wanted to f*ck the guy and whatever.  Just to mess with him sometimes I would say, "Yeah, I would f*ck him", and I know he didn't like that.  I started to get the sense that he wasn’t thrilled that I was dating and could potentially hook up with someone else.  So I noticed that Shallow Hal would start to tell me more about what he was doing with Miss New York and Miss C sexually.  By this time their six weeks was up (well NY's six weeks was up, I think he resumed f*cking Miss C in about 3 weeks.  Couldn’t wait.).  I figured that once that happened I wasn't gonna see him much anymore.  He had two new babies, a toddler, and two women in two states.  My time had diminished, and to be honest, it bugged me a little.  Not gonna lie.  I mean I knew that it would probably happen but when it did I felt a little neglected.  One thing about Shallow Hal, he knows how to give attention.  He calls.  He texts.  He emails.  He takes you out.  I couldn't get the former man to do anything remotely as close as any of this, and as I was coming off that rollercoaster Shallow Hal was waiting there at the exit.  I guess I got back on the rollercoaster again?  As raggedy and reckless as he was, he was giving me something that I craved.  ATTENTION.  

In fact, let me take a diversion for a little bit.  In these past posts I have been talking about Miss New York and Miss C, but I'm gonna take a minute to talk about myself. 

From the start I knew that Shallow Hal was a dog. 

I didn't know the level of "doggacity" he had, but I knew he had it.  I knew everything he did.  Who he did it with and how he did it.  I had full disclosure.  Truthfully I could take it or leave it, but I was good with what I had with him at the time.  Yeah what he was doing was wrong, and I was just as wrong too.  The more I knew, the less of an emotional attachment I had to him and at the moment that was cool.  Tin Man had f*cked me up so bad that I refused to get emotionally caught up in another dude.  So with Shallow Hal having these chicks, he was not available for me to get caught up.  Of course he wanted me to get tangled in his web of sugary bullshyt and have me strung out like Miss C and Miss New York, but it didn’t work.  I think the therapist understood it too.  She said that as long as I knew what I was dealing with, don’t get caught up and fall for him.  And I didn't.

Even though it may not make sense to some (and it doesn't really have to), Shallow Hal was safe.  He gave me the attention and the time that I needed; I just didn’t want to be emotionally involved in him or anyone like that.  I couldn’t get hurt from his lies because I knew the truth.  I knew enough about his shyt that he had to stay somewhat cool with me.  Lies are what hurt me before.  Love hurt me before.  You never know what you will do in the aftermath of being emotionally beat down by a man.  Yeah the truth hurts but I’d rather have that than find out later that dude was playing with my emotions.   As for listening to him dog other women, yeah it wasn’t easy to always hear.  I felt bad for them.  I did.  But what could I do except refuse to listen to the shyt?  That would only put me in the dark and I ain't TRYING to be in the dark with no more dudes.  Putting my foot down or getting disgusted with him wouldn’t change this man either.  Walking away wouldn't bother him because his azz was still on BlackPeopleMeet.  Did his ways turn me off?  Yeah it did sometimes.  But at this particular time it had not gotten to a point for me to leave him alone yet.  I was helping him with renting his house and I wanted my $1000, so I was gonna censor my comments and feelings at least until I got my money.  Which I did.  I got the place rented about two weeks after he moved out.  And during Christmas time, that was a big accomplishment.  Even I didn’t think I would pull it off that fast, but I did.  And I happily took my check to the bank.  Mission accomplished.

Back at home Miss New York was being somewhat agreeable with Shallow Hal, but with Miss C it wasn’t quite the same.  I mean they were cool at home and getting’ along, but when he would pack his bag every Saturday to go sleep in New York (and I do mean that literally) she definitely wasn’t happy.  They were now living in this sprawling home in Pennsylvania, so she was even farther away from people who she could communicate with.   She was a paranoid person who believes in voodoo and what not so she was locking herself in the walk in closet all day when he was at work.  The big house overwhelmed her.

SH: “You know I came home and she was locked in the closet with the kids?  She said she heard some kind of noise.  I think they were doing something on the house next door and it scared her.  But every day she stays locked in the room.  I bought this big ol’ house and she stays in the closet or locked in the room. “

Wow.  Just wow.  I had told him that moving out there didn’t make any sense, because now he was over two hours away from Miss New York too.  But again, he didn’t listen.  The house was a good deal but it literally is in West Hell and he just wasn’t thinking through it clearly.  That’s how he is with everything --- spontaneous and rushes to make decisions.  He doesn’t think.  That’s how he ended up with Miss C getting pregnant.  He wanted to be a dad but knocked up somebody in another country?  Twice.  Then he tells me later that he shouldn’t have done that.  Ya think???????  Geez.

Just like with this house.  He wouldn't wait until she had the baby in a few weeks.  He wanted to move NOW.  He closed on the house when Miss C was still about 8 months pregnant, and that’s when he told her they were moving.  He refused to hire movers so he did it himself, and even had Miss Big Belly helping him too.

SH:  “She did pretty good being eight months pregnant.”

I wanted to smack him.  I didn’t like that he did things that way and had her help but he is just a rock headed person.   He wouldn’t listen to me about movers.  I even suggested hiring those day laborer guys that stand around looking for work every morning.  But nope, instead he had Miss C packing and lifting shyt along with him.  

Still though, the new love cottage doesn't stop the tension that is starting to build with Miss C.  Shallow Hal says that she looks depressed and is losing weight.  But it doesn’t stop him from riding out to New York and spending the night with his other woman.  Eventually they argue so much that Hal tells Miss C she needs to spend the week with his cousin’s wife in Brooklyn to give them a break.  Miss C asked him, "Are you trying to get rid of me?"  Of course he was, at least for a little while anyways.  She didn’t want to go at first, but I guess she was tired of being in the house alone so eventually she agreed.

The same day Shallow Hal texts me, “You wanna see my new house?”

And we all know how I answered that question. 
I rode out to his house in PA.  Shallow Hal gave me the tour.  It was pretty nice.  Big.  Spacious.  Fancy.  It was a pretty nice come up for a chick who came from very little and was doing nothing for herself when Hal met her.  I felt a tinge of jealousy as I looked around.  Damn I wish I had a dude that could provide for me like that.  I saw all of the rooms and then I went into the closet where Miss C was spending most of her time.  I looked at her clothes.  It was the dead of winter but she only had things for warm weather since she was from the Caribbean.  She didn't have much.  Actually the kids had more stuff than she did.  Shallow Hal was more focused on buying things for the kids than for her it seemed.  I saw a wrinkled little French/English translation book that she must have been reading to try to learn English.  Then in a corner I saw a picture on the floor.  I picked it up and it was a picture of her and Shallow Hal.  It was a cute little picture of him embracing her.  I asked him what the picture was doing on the floor in the closet.

“I don’t know.  I am finding those pictures all over the house now”, he cooly said. 

I took it as a sign.  A sign that this woman was really sad and was looking at the pictures to somehow give her hope those happier times would return.  He told me she was very religious and prayed and read the bible a lot.  Maybe she was praying over the pictures?  Was she doing some voodoo chants?  Or was she scattering the pictures around the house so Shallow Hal could be reminded of how HE used to be to her? I dunno and Shallow Hal didn't know either.  It was just odd to see that picture in that closet like that.  If anything, I finally got to see what she looked like.  I thought she would be so drop dead gorgeous given that Hal had brought her here, bought them a big house together, and was providing for her.  But nah, she wasn’t gorgeous.  He always told me,"She ain't that fine."  She was okay looking though.  I wasn't gonna hate on her like that, but I did chuckle when he said she wears a 9.5 shoe and was only 5'4" tall.  :) 

Anyway, Shallow Hal and I eat and talk for a bit.  I head for one of the spare rooms to put my things in, but he grabs my arm and pulls me towards the master bedroom…..

(Pauses at keyboard.  Remembering this is messing with me.)

He pulls me towards the bedroom.  No, no, no.  I tell him that we can’t do it in there.  Not on that bed.  No, no, no.

(My mind is racing.  I'm seeing it all over again in my mind's eye.)

AND we do. IT. Anyway.  Right there.

On that bed.  On that floor.  And on the bed again.   I can see her clothes in the closet.  I can see her shoes.  He’s behind me, but I see her stuff in front of me.  I see the little picture on the closet floor.  And he is still behind me.  Hands on my hips.  Pushing.  Pushing.  Faster and harder.  It felt good.  He felt soooo good.

Two nights I came....there.  Two nights we slept.  In that bed.  Neither of us giving a shyt.

The day I left I made sure to get all my stuff so that she wouldn't know I had been there, because there was no telling what she would do if she found out.  I made sure the picture was back in the same spot in the closet too.  I stared at it and asked myself, "Does she really sit in this closet?  Does she sit in here looking at this picture?"

It was wild.  Deep.  Just the thought of her doing that f*cked with me more than the f*ck itself

Mind trips are not what I wanted outta this.  Shyt was getting to my head now, and I knew then that I had to get off the rollercoaster. 

That's when Shallow Hal reveals something to me that even I couldn't take...

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Interview with a Dog: Part VI - Sherlock Homegirl

Shallow Hal is making his trips over to New York on the weekends.  Miss New York doesn’t really sweat it at first that he comes only on the weekend because that’s the way it had always been anyways.  She lives kinda far out in New York and he lives and works in Jersey.   He met her when he was hanging out in New York and she was waitressing at some restaurant.  Shallow Hal said the first thing he noticed about her was that she had some ‘really lovely breasts.”  Men are so visual it just ridiculous.  It just goes to show you that men ain’t hardly interested in how smart you are or what you do for a living most times, it’s all about the physical.  At least at first anyway.  Anyhow he told someone to give her his number, she called, and two weeks later  (if that) they were f*cking.  Oh, and of course he wasn't single at the time he met her.  He says that things were falling apart with that one so in his mind it wasn't cheating on his woman.

Hmmm, that's a good question.  Can I pause this to have a Carrie Bradshaw moment?

When you're emotionally done with a relationship and you start dating someone else is it considering cheating or being unfaithful?
I already know Shallow Hal's answer on that question.  

Anyway when Shallow Hal makes his visits, of course Miss Caribbean is calling him about this or that while he is sitting at Miss New York's house.  That's when the ball of yarn starts to unravel.  Seeing that Miss New York knows both English and their language, it becomes hard for him to hide that he is talking to another female in their native tongue.  He has to whisper on the phone or go into another room to talk.  She peeps that and eventually figures out that he is discussing the toddler at home.  New York hears him talk about how he is gonna to pick up this or that on the way home.   To someone.  Eventually she asks him what the whole thing is about.

SH: “I told you that I had a kid, and I told you that my kids were coming here.”
Ok, ok.  So maybe Miss New York knew a little something for the last year, but I guess it was cool as long as the kid was in their country.  It didn't affect her.  But now since the kid was here, and it sounds like the momma is here too, she ain't too happy now.   What angers her the most though was knowing that the woman didn't just get on a plane and come here.  She needed papers to enter this country.  Was Shallow Hal married?  New York always said she wanted to be married and he married somebody else?

Ok granted Shallow Hal might have told New York some things, but he never really TELLS you the full story.  He just hints at shyt and the rest you have to figure out.  You see how the word ‘kid’ went to ‘kids’?  You have to listen to the little nuances when he speaks to you.   Yeah maybe Miss New York knew about a kid.  ONE.  He left out one little detail when talking about the ‘kids’ in that statement above though. What he didn’t say that one wasn’t born yet, and he also didn’t say who the kids were coming with.   Eventually New York would figure it out --- at least part of it anyway.

And this news crushes her.  The man that she had been in a relationship with for almost three years has brought another woman into the country and is supporting her.  Meanwhile Miss New York is unemployed, was sick as hell with his baby inside of her, and only gets to see him on the weekends.  Then he brings another chick over to be with him full time, when she asked could she come live with him after she got pregnant.  And to add insult to injury, the woman is from the same country!!!  That made it even worse.  New York fought for three years trying to be allowed to stay in the United States thru the courts, and all this woman had to do was f*ck and have a baby and she gets brought here by the person she THOUGHT was HER MAN?  So of course she started tripping.  Who wouldn't?
She started sending Shallow Hal texts.  Texts about how she couldn't believe that this was happening to her.  That after all this time he chose to bring another woman here to care for instead of her.   She would say that she was hurt and that she couldn’t believe that she got herself involved with a married man (I guess she figured he was married because how else could he have brought Miss C here).  She would wait until he left her house and was in the car when she would start her text rants though.  In his face and while he was in her presence things were cool; but as soon as he left the texts started flying. 

Me:  "The fact that she now knows that when you leave her, you're on your way HOME TO YOUR FAMILY.  That is killing her.   That's tough for anyone to take, especially someone who just had your baby.  I mean you can be sweet and nice to her all you want for that one weekend day, but when your azz leaves, she can't help to think that you do the same with the other woman.  You messed her head up and she can't handle it."

SH: "I know.  One time I was there and she asked me if I wanted something to eat before I left.  I told her no and that I would eat when I got home.  Not five minutes after I left the house did she text me and say, "Oh now you don't like my food anymore?  The way I cook ain't good enough for you now?"

I had to laugh at that one.  The chick was really going through it.

Once when he took me out for my birthday, we were eating breakfast and the texts started coming.  He showed me one,
“I just can’t stop crying.  You have killed me emotionally so you might as well kill me physically.”
Shallow Hal:  “This is so annoying.”
Me:  "Well that text sounds pretty serious.  She might need to go see somebody.  Why don’t you just talk to her and tell her that you are sorry and that you didn’t mean to hurt her.  That you didn’t intend to get her pregnant, and….”
Then I stopped talking.  I could see that he was half listening.  He was too bothered by the texts. 
Me:  “You say that her texts are annoying, but they make you feel bad don’t they?”
SH:  “Yeah I do feel bad.”
His face is strained. 
Me: “Until she finds someone new the texts probably won’t stop.”

Shallow Hal just gets up and tells me he is going to go and call her.  But he was back in like five minutes?  I didn't ask anything else about it.  I needed a break.  It was my birthday weekend anyways.
Once New York figured it out that Miss C was living with Hal, she transforms into Sherlock Homegirl.  She is paying attention to everything and trying to get info on the woman who Hal chose over her.  And damn this chick is good!  On the real it really wasn't that hard for her because Shallow Hal is so damn sloppy with his shyt.  She just logged into Facebook to find out the first piece of info.  I swear so many people get busted on that damn Facebook it ain't even funny.  Hal has only 32 f*ckin’ friends and the two chicks he was f*ckin’ are his both friends on Facebook!!!  How dumb is that?  So I guess once she saw the name pop up on his phone it wasn’t too hard to figure that shyt out and match the name to the picture.  

SH:  “She sent me Miss C’s picture to my phone and asked, “Do you know who this is?”

To be honest, I never thought to look on Facebook for either one of those chicks myself.  It didn't matter much to me, but once New York checked it out I decided to go look too.  The pic of Miss C is not that great because she is standing at a distance and has shades on.
But for Sherlock Homegirl that pic was better than nothing.  I still think Shallow Hal was a dummy for having both of them as friends on Facebook though. 
Me:  “You have the two women you fkn as your friends on Facebook?  And you over there leaving your phone out and your wallet too?  Wow.  That's crazy."
He said he would change who could see his friends but he forgot his password.  He could keep all these women and babies straight but couldn't remember his password.  In fact four of the chicks he dealt with were part of his 32 f*ckin' friends.  LOL.  I suspect that Shallow Hal told Miss C to change her profile because her pic isn't up there anymore.  It's just a pic of the toddler.  Anyway it was too late, Miss New York had already seen a picture of her competition. 
But her work wasn't quite yet done.  Yeah she knew the woman was here and knew what she looked like, and yeah she was told that Shallow Hal now had 'kids'.  It's just that one of those kids was still in the oven and that's the part that she didn't know. 
As Miss C is getting closer to her due date, she starts having some problems too.  The baby is underweight given the fact that she is eight months pregnant.  She has a doctor's appointment almost every other day, and Shallow Hal can't really spend the night at New York's much now on weekends.  He has to explain this to New York somehow.
SH:  "I told her that my son is in the hospital and that I can't make it."
Well, that wasn't entirely a lie now was it?  His UNBORN son was in the hospital.  Again, Shallow Hal is really good at twisting words around.  You rarely can take what he says at face value.
And you know what New York says to him???
"I'm sorry to hear about your son.  I am going to pray that your son will be okay and that the angels protect him."
How sweet.  I gotta tell ya.  He knows how to pick 'em. 
Funny though when he gets this text, who do you think he was with at that particular moment?

And what happens next I know is pretty bad.
Shallow Hal and I were together more often around this time.  Miss C was staying in New York for days at a time because she was having doctor appointments like every other day to monitor her unborn child.  The baby was a bit underweight given that she only had a month left to go.  Miss New York's baby was already here, but apparently she was a drag to be around because she had a C-section and was still recovering.  So yeah, he might have been seeing me maybe once or twice a week because these other two were tied up per say.  But I knew the real reason why.  Neither of these two chicks could sex him at the moment.  I figured that in six weeks (or less because I couldn't see SH waiting that long) I wouldn't be gettin' d*ck from him anymore so I had put it in my mind that he and I would be winding down real soon anyway.  Whatever.  At the moment I didn't care to think about it.   
Also another big reason why I was probably seeing him a bit more because Shallow Hal was buying a bigger house.  He wasn't selling his current home and was keeping it, and asked me to help him rent that out.  He offered to pay me a nice piece of change to do it too.  $1000.  I was real cool with that.  So I went to work posting the house, reviewing applications, showing the place, and helping him fix it up.  Funny, he didn't tell either of the two chicks he was planning on moving either.  Not even the one he was living with.  He claimed that he didn't want to tell Miss C until he was sure he was moving.  As for the Miss New York, that one would just get pissed about it.  The idea of him bringing this woman here was eating her alive as it was, and to find out that he was getting a bigger house to accomodate his new family would either crush her or send her into a rage.  And to this day she still don't know that muthfucca has moved.
Nevertheless, he seemed to be handling it all though.  A new preemie over in NY; a preggo chick over in Jersey; buying a new house and then renting the other -- and still finding time to be a dog.  With me.
Now Miss C is getting closer to her due date, but she has to go to the doctor like everyday because the baby is underweight and her belly looks small.  Shallow Hal couldn't make these doctor appointments so he had his cousin who works at the hospital take her over there.  This man always has people that could do shyt for him.  It's amazing.  And his cousin?  Now that's another blog in itself.  How about this fool has 10 kids with eight different chicks, and not one, NOT ONE, has taken him to court for child support?  I guess the dog gene runs in Shallow Hal's family. As for the women?  You guessed it.  Every single one of them is FROM.THE.SAME.COUNTRY.

Unbelievable.  It must be something in the water over there cuz that's fuggin' amazing.

Anyhow, one day Shallow Hal took the day off and went with Miss C to the doctor for a check up.  On the way home the doctor called him and told them to come back to the hospital and when he told Miss C she started crying.  I guess something was up with the tests and they wanted to go ahead and induce labor.  He takes her back to the hospital and sits in there most of the day.  The next morning he goes back and they plan to induce labor, but they tell him that the baby ain't coming that day and to just wait it out.
Instead he leaves.
He comes to the house he is renting and meets me there.  The painter is in the house doing some work, and I wanted to go over some things with Shallow Hal that needed to be fixed in the house so we could get it rented.  We are upstairs in the bathroom checking out some stuff and then...Shallow Hal grabs me.  He is kissing all over me and tugging at my clothes.  I try to push him away and tell him to stop because the guy is downstairs painting.  But it's no use.  He don't care.  And we do it.  In the hallway leading to that bathroom. 

F*ckin' while some strange man is downstairs painting. 

Like it was nothing. 

F*ckin' while Miss C is laying up in the hospital waiting to have his baby.  

Like it was nothing.  

We finish and go right back to talking business about the house. 

Like it was nothing. 

That girl in the hospital wasn't even on his mind.
Hours pass.  Shallow Hal and I are still doing this and that around the house.  He tells me that Miss C had mentioned the other day that they have not bought any baby clothes for the little one that's on the way.   So we ride over to the store and buy some stuff for that kid, the toddler, and for Miss New York's kid.  Big bags of stuff. 

More time passes and now it's getting dark.  He is finally getting ready to head to the hospital which is a good hour away, but he wants to buy some new headphones.  So we stop at another store.  This time Miss C calls before we could get out of the car.  She is speaking in their language and I couldn't undestand, but I'm sure she was asking "Where are you?"
Then I hear her moaning.  It sounds so loud.  Moaning because I guess the contractions are getting more intense after they had been trying to induce labor all day.   Shallow Hal listens and he tells her he is on the way.  He looks concerned but what does he do?  He gets out of the car and goes into the store anyway.  To get those headphones.  While he is walking he says to me, "You know, this my third kid and I'm like over it.  It's like no big deal now."  I guess he meant to say that panicking over this baby coming wasn't something he was gonna do.  He did acknowledge that Miss C sounded pretty bad and that he needed to get over there, but I guess because the doctor's told him that the baby wasn't coming that day he wasn't pressed.  He needed the headphones first.
An hour later the baby comes anyway.  And Shallow Hal hadn't even left yet.  He went back to the house and gave the painter a ride to the train station.
In fact, he wasn't there for the first kid who was born in his country, or for Miss New York's baby a month earlier, or for this second one with Miss C.  Honestly, I don't think he wanted to be in the delivery room  anyway.  Or maybe he was indifferent about it?  He wanted the kids but the process of the being there at the birth was not major on his list.  He just wanted kids and f*ck the rest.  The doctor's visits and alla that other stuff he could do without.  At least that was my impression anyways.....
When I left Shallow Hal it was about 8 or 9 o'clock.  By the time he got to the hospital he said it was after way after midnight.  On the way there his car broke down and by the time he towed it back home, got in his other car and drove back to the hospital, it was damn near 3:30am.   They let him in to see Miss C for a little bit and then he had to leave.  And where did he go to sleep?
At Miss New York's house.
On my way home that night I kept hearing the moaning in my head.  It bothered me.  I asked myself how could I have done that?  F*cked that man while his pregnant girlfriend was in the hospital?   I told the therapist about it.  I don't think she said much but I could see the look in her face that she was like "Damn, girl."  She asked me how I felt.  I told her I felt pretty bad about it.  It was messed up.  Real messed up.  I felt bad for the girl.
The same day the baby was born I texted Shallow Hal and told him to check his wall on Facebook.   I was sure someone was gonna post that his kid was born because he sent out a text blast announcing it (mind you he didn't do that when New York's kid was born though).  I wasn't his friend on Facebook, but Miss New York was.  I told him to check it before she did, because that would be a f*cked up way for her to find out that he had a kid a month and half after hers. 
His response: "I don't know my password."

Again?  Didn't he say that a couple weeks ago after New York ganked Miss C's pic off his page and sent it to him?  Sloppy.  Just sloppy.

Well he should have listened to me, because that Facebook is a muthafucca.  And it didn't take long for Sherlock Homegirl to find out the news.  How?  Because one of his 32 f*ckin' friends reposted some pics of the baby on their Facebook page.

She blows up his phone and starts texting away.  "Oh is that why you brought her here, because she was pregnant?  I was pregnant too!  You lied and told me the child was in the hospital!"

Shallow Hal does not respond at first, but eventually he calls her.  Then Miss New York says something that I never thought she would say....