Day #801: I am trifling

I guess it would seem like I had a helluva bday back on November 11 because I haven't been on here typing.  The real deal is that I would write when I was at work, but now...I have to ACTUALLY work.  So I can't get in my writing unless I do it at home.  And when I get home, I lay on that couch and start reaching for the toy and then I'm just done.  Ain't no kind of writing gonna be going on after that okay?  I curl up and start watching Judge Judy and then fall asleep.  :)

So bottom line, I gotta write at home.  These people at work actually make me work now.  It was cool to blog and read blogs and then get paid twice a month.  But those days are gone it seems. 

:( 

I'm sneaking this little quick thing in now at work just to get something posted, because it was getting ridiculous not keeping this up to date.  I can't stand myself, and I got three messages in the past week asking where I was.  That made me smile.  So I felt compelled to at least write SOMETHING today.

But it's not like I haven't had any stories to tell cuz man I do!  I'm gonna jot down a few things while they are in my mind so I don't forget.  So here are the highlights of the latest stories>

• Rihanna was cock blocking again with Shallow Hal at another meetup.   She is such an attention whore.  This time she was telling me how some dude called the cops on her and she got kicked outta his house.  I guess she was telling me the story so that I could be like, "Yeah girl, he's an asshole" and alla that.  And I did.  Until she started talking more, and then....
• I have been getting all of this info for "The Interview with a Cock Sucker" series and it is just TOO, TOO JUICY!!  And not all in good way.  That cock sucker part is not sitting with me too well though, so I'm still scratching my head on a title.  But still, that is no excuse not to blog.
• Uh...and Tin Man.  Um..well.  More later.
• Oh and lemme not forget about this lady who comes up to me in the subway and was ready to throw down!  Just outta nowhere.  And I was mad at myself on how I handled it.
• Oh and then get this!  I go outta town on my birthday and check a flick by myself while Shallow Hal is playing in his tournament right?  Then this dude and his son decide they wanna bully and f*ck with me in the theater!  Man, I was so damn hot!  I mean HOTTER THAN HOT!   I must share how that shyt went down cuz I was ready to go to jail that damn night.  For real.
• What else ---um online dating.  I met like four dudes or so.  Not many.  But of course I have scorecards to share.  I always have a nice time on the dates, but when I'm through I call Kim and we giggle over whatever it is that I say about them.  I hooked up with one back in the summer...but he was just all over the place (wow I forgot about him).  I even got a story to share about a dude I never met and how he told me he can't get a date.  I think I gave him some honest advice.  I think I am gonna copy and paste the message here on the blog.  Yeah, I'm nuts.  Oh and I can't forget the dude from Cali who texted me telling me how big his feet and hands were!  Only this type of shyt happens to me.  LOL.
• CONFESSION:  I'm addicted to this shopping website.  Seriously.  It's bad.  But I look fly though...if that counts for anything????
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• And I have been coaching my cousin who probably has so much dust on her coochie she would start a windstorm if a dude blew on it.  Trees gonna be falling over and garbage cans will be rolling in the streets when that shyt finally happens - I mean it's that dusty.  Word up.  I think she been on lock for like three years now?  God bless her!  But it's going down this weekend!  She finally gonna get her some from this dude that she met online.  The horniness was too much and think she finally hit her limit, so she gonna go 'head and get some tomorrow night.  I can hear the ANTICIPATION in her voice when she talks about the date.  So if y'all feel the ground shaking in the wee hours of Sunday morning it's probably my cousin having an orgasm out in Wisconsin.  And of course I'm gonna call her the next damn day and hear every word!  I bet she gonna be breathing all hard and acting ridiculous during it.  I can't wait to hear....and blog about it of course.  I hope dude brings his A game cuz lawd knows he got a big job in front of him.  To be silly I told her to take a picture of his d*ck and send it to me when he is sleeping.  Miss Goody Two Shoes ain't gonna do it though with her prissy azz.  It'll probably be soft when she got around to taking the picture and I don't wanna see that anyway.  I'm thinking I'm still gonna dare her to do it though...just for the hell of it. 

• I won $2000!  A little writing thing.  Yay me.  But I'm gonna save it...for real.

Aight...so lemme get back to work.  I gotta hit this shopping event at 5:30pm (bad, bad girl), then I gotta run home and put my sexy pants on to bartend tonight. 

Hmmm....I hope these muthafuccas tipping tonight.  But I already know how it is so I ain't gonna gas myself up.  I stopped doing that actually.  I just need to keep my eyes on the prize and earn what I spent this week.  I spent like $300 since yesterday shopping (some were for Xmas gifts though) so I gotta make it back tonight and tomorrow.

So I'll keep my fingers crossed.  More later.

Sorry for not keeping this up to date.  LakiSwirl is one of my heroes cuz she keeps her stuff fresh!  I need to try to do the same.