Match N' Munchkins

I'm staying true to my word from yesterday and coming back to blog on the little Match date last night.  And the little Match date was the date himself.

Can you say 'Munchkin'?

He was a Shawty for real, and not in a good way.  I was literally TOWERING over him in my heels.  He basically was a Black version of Popeye the Sailor.   

See those short, stumpy legs and arms?  That's what Shawty was working with.  I mean he wasn't horrible, but he was just so compact. 

On a good note he was cool to talk to though, but I had to chuckle to myself when he was talking about how females on Match don't tell the truth about themselves.  I was thinking 'include yourself short stuff. Your profile said you were 5'10".'  Um no boo bear.  How's about 5' 7".  Barely.

Overall not bad looking and he looked great for his age.  If I was crushin' on Munchkins he would be a good candidate for sure.  Smokey Robinson has a song called "Can You Love A Virgin Man", but I made a new version of it since the date last night:

How come people say

Lady Munchkin that's OK

But when the conversation turns around

Munchkin Man they always put him down

People say he's so petite,
And chile don't lemme start talking about his tiny, little feet!


Can you love,

A Munchkin man,

Oh oh,

Can you love,

A Munchkin man.

I don't think I can.  I mean when I hug a man, I wanna snuggle up and put my face on his chest.  Or at least on his shoulders!  With this one, he will be the one snuggling his face in my chest if we hugged.  I guess for him that's good (if I had big boobs), but for me nuh uh.

I'm 5'7" and I like wearing heels, so I guess height does matter to me a little.  I never really had to think about it because most of the dudes I have dealt with were at least an inch or so taller.  I had a boyfriend once that was a tad shorter than me, but that was a million years ago.  It took some getting used to but I worked with it.  Again, another muscular dude.  I'm starting to think that shawtys try to make up for their height by being muscular and built. 

I have no regrets though.  I had a nice time. 

Now for the assessment.  To make this interesting I have decided that I will make a little scorecard after each date from Match.  Hee hee, it's gonna be a fun summer bloggin' on this subject!  Can't wait. 

(rubbing hands together)

So here's the first:

Name:  Munchkin Man aka Shawty aka Popeye

I doubt if there will be a love connection here, even though he was very complimentary and a total gentleman.  But here's a rule to remember when it comes to Match:
 

Cardinal Rule No. 1 to Dating Men on Match.com:

However tall the man says he is,

subtract at least two inches.

In other news, dude on this Coochie Contract with me is getting caught up in the rapture.  I'm gonna have to put him on ice.  Fool had the nerve to ask me last night when I was gonna cook for him? 

My reply:  "I only cook for my man or potential man"

His response:  "So are you saying you are never gonna cook for me?"

What the fluck don't you understand here Dumb Donald?  These basic hood nuccas don't know how to read between the lines for shyt!  I think I pretty much answered that question in my first response.  But see, if I had answered that last one then the convo would have been gettin' into why he's not good enough to be my man and alla that.  Just unnecessary drama from someone whose face I barely look into when he's around me.  Instead of my eyes being on the prize, my eyes are on the crotch when it comes to him.  Real talk.

Oh well.  It's springtime.  Time to do some spring cleaning anyway.  Should have never bothered with his azz in the first place.  I'm working on getting him replaced anyway -- but I have to do it gently.  Delicately.  Twist it around so he thinks he let me go.  I gotta plan.  He's knows people that I know, so I gotta get my dirt on him as insurance so he will keep his mouth shut when I'm done with him.  Too much work.  Like I said, I should have never messed with his azz....

Cardinal Rule No.1 for a D*ck Roster Candidate:

Never choose a dude that knows

people you know also.  It will be easier

to dump him without hearing about it later. 

Back lata.