Interview with a Dog: Revelation

"That's when Shallow Hal reveals something to me that even I couldn't take..."

That's the last sentence I wrote in the prior post. 

I'm sitting here watching Dateline about a woman who knew her husband killed two people and didn't say anything about it for years.  Eventually she did because the husband had viciously beat their young daughter.  I'm sure that there are many that would tell her that she was wrong for not turning her husband in right away, even though she explained what caused her to delay.  I'm sure she will always have someone that will not agree with her decision to keep her husband's secret.


As for writing about Shallow Hal, the purpose was to somehow purge the events from my mind.  But in doing that, the feedback is bothering me because no matter how many different ways I explain things, the judging will still be there.  Like what I speak about is some new or unheard of shyt.  Shallow Hal BEEN a dog; those two chicks BEEN in the picture years before me.  Nothing I do is causing anything.  Shallow Hal does his own shyt and makes his own decisions.  I ain't impacting a damn thing that man does with those two women.  I'm just listening.  And yeah...I screwed him too.  But it ain't about his d*ck (actually he is pretty basic in the bed).  It ain't about his money.  I said what it was about and as I said before I don't have to explain it or make anyone understand.  I could be like that woman and keep it to myself.  I didn't though.  I posted it to the world.  Doesn't mean I'm proud about it.  Do I sound like I'm proud about it?

(oooh, I sound kinda angry don't I?)


Posting it to the WORLD.....THE WORLD!!!!!  Girl, that doesn't seem to be helping me AT ALL lately.  That's partly the point of this blog...or so I thought!  I don't need to hear shyt about me.  I pay someone to talk to me about my shyt. 

Soooo...what I would have spoken about on the next blog would have been too much for some to handle I think.   Yeah...it would be too much and I won't even take it there.  I will go ahead and write the posts to serve MY PURPOSES, but it probably won't be published.  What's the point?   Anyway what I ended up doing I never thought I would do, but it don't matter.  It's really my business anyway, I just put it out there.  LOL.  What the hell did I do THAT for?

If I sat back and judged Shallow Hal, he would stop talking to me about it.  So if someone judged me about something, then guess what...I would shut up about it too.  Anyone would.  Anyone. 

Looks like I will do just that.  I have other stuff to talk about for the time being.  I was working on that post last week.  This Shallow Hal situation is dead for now.

Hmmmm, I can hear it now...

"Well why you put it out there if you don't wanna hear someone's true opinion?"

You know how you tell someone something and you just want them to listen --- and shut the f*ck up?  That would be my answer to that.  Also maybe because it is my personal shyt?  Or maybe I never really asked for an opinion on me?  The opinions about Shallow Hal and Miss C and Miss New York don't affect them because they don't know shyt about this blog.  So talk about them all day. 

(giggle)


In any case, as for the blog I am still shocked that people would actually read my baloney?  :)  Lost some people and gained a few but that's okay.  Maybe I disgusted them too much, but that's cool.  Move on if the blog bothers you or what I do bothers you.  I guess that's what I'm doing essentially.  Moving on from posts about Shallow Hal if publishing them ain't working for me right now.

Plus writing these blogs is pure labor.  Organzing the stories and making it flow together is not easy at all!  It takes a very long time to write those posts.  I sure don't wanna feel any type of way about my posts after I spent hours putting them together.

Anyway who knows, I might change my mind about it.  I'll talk to the therapist about it.  I got mad other shyt going on with an IRS audit, my side biz, bartending, and my regular gig to have my heart flutter nervously whenever I get notified of a comment.   

I guess I'm a sensitive wimp.  No matter how old I get.  Still sensitive.  Still a weenie.  Oh well. 

Whew...I feel better already!!!!!  The power of writing is really therapeutic.