Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Interview with a Dog Readers: Selfish Thrill Seekers

I had made a post and published it, but trying to be fancy and do things from my phone the repost came up blank.  So I lost the whole post and I was so annoyed that I just left it alone for a minute.
So let me try it again since my jets have cooled down a little bit.  A thousand other things have gone thru my head since then but I do think I need to come back and finish where I left off.  I am sitting here in the Dominican Republic in this boring azz airport so I am gonna take this time to rewrite my post.   More on my solo trip to unchartered international territory at a later time.   I have this group of brothers sitting in the chairs behind me.  I bet they were here looking at Dominican ass all week – a man trip.  From what one of them was saying it may have been a bachelor trip?  I hear talk of license and tuxedos and what not.  Maybe one of them is marrying a Dominican chick?  I dunno.  They kinda look to be in my age range too.  I hope they don’t lean over and ask me what I am typing, because if they do they might become a part of this blog post.  Depending on what they say and how much I start drinking, things could go way to the left so I better be careful.  I’m just gonna keep writing.  I have been getting mistaken for being Dominican all week, so maybe they think I don’t know English and won’t talk to me.  LOL.  That’s cool with me! 

HOLD UP.  They are back there whispering about their trip now.  Shhhh!!!  I'm just gonna peck on the keys and act like I'm typing so that I can hear what they are saying. 
(pauses to listen)
Ok I'm back.  The were talking about typical man vacation shyt:
"Man, she was good." 
"She wanted more money."
"You do the 69?"
"Nah, I wasn't gonna taste that shyt." 

"What was the name of that spot again?"

"The Ali Baba".

(more laughter)
"Man did we have the best time or what?"
Etc. Etc.  I peeped one of them.  Yeah I see why he had to pay for some azz.  Ugh. 

What the hell goes on at the Ali Baba?  I would Google it but I have my work laptop with me and no telling what might come up.   I'll see what pops up from my phone.  I'm sooooo nosey!!!

Anyway.  Where was I?
Last I wrote that I was gonna stop writing about the Shallow Hal story because I felt that I was thinking too much about certain replies.  Thinking waayyy too much about it.  I tend to obsess on things and it was becoming counter-productive. 
Then I was encouraged.  I was so overwhelmed by the comments on that post that I was floored!   I think I got the most comments I ever received in over two years of writing on this blog.  I know there are followers but you never really know if they read or not, and people who have never commented took a few minutes to send me something.   That was so cool.  I was so overwhelmed!  So I’m back to reply because I think it would be messed up if I didn’t acknowledge the comments I received.
The blog fam came out and said some wonderful things to me - not so much about the Shallow Hal drama, but about my writing and that they liked it.  They spoke to me beyond the story and acknowledged my feelings about things and my life, and some even reminded me about the purpose of my blog in general. It was all cool.  It was all good.  It made me feel better and I exhaled. 

But in the back of my mind, I knew it wouldn’t last.
Everyone doesn’t send me messages on the blog you know.  People have contacted me thru email asking me different things about business or about how they can relate to things I post.  It ranges.  I usually don’t talk about what comes thru the backdoor on this blog, but this time I am gonna break that rule.  Let’s call him Mr. Thoughtful Reader. 
Hey You
I'm reading your blog as I write this right now as a matter of fact not finished yet. Not that it matters but at least this happened in December instead of now - I so hope you listen to some of your thoughtful readers, you did not respond to them just to the thrill seekers who luv train wrecks. I do too obviously but not when its a friend.
If nothing else you should do something with your writing skills your better than a lot of folks that publish.

(So I guess all of those comments I got are from you thrill seekers.  )

Nope not gonna respond to criticism comments bc that snowballs and goes into a back and forth.  I addressed them all technically in the current post.  I respond to who I want.  Lol.  
Thank u for the compliment on the writing.  Actually some of the other bloggers write just as well to me????

(Then I posted again and say that I am not gonna write about Shallow Hall anymore.  Once I saw the positive comments coming through, I knew it wouldn’t be too long before I saw an email from him.)
Even though I stumbled on your blog in the beginning because of the avatar you used in the paper, your writing kept me coming back. Just finished reading your stuff and although I might not be your earliest reader I'm up there, you already know I luv the way you right and titillate, and consider you a "friend".
You should make a distinction between those responding as a reader, in which case why do they care what you write as long as it's interesting, and a virtual friend who sees your actions contradicting everything I know about you. Not to mention how it felt to you when you found the tin man and the others cheating on you. I think even you know that something ain't right on so many levels, your too intelligent not to. When you read what you wrote in the light of day you seem contrite, hence you stop. Yes we all have done bad things - but to do so, so shamelessly as if your writing about someone else is hard to understand. When you add your blatant disregard for 2 other pregnant  females as if your just doing what comes natural it reaches a whole another level. Your other "loyal" readers - if you wrote that you banged your whole office and then went home and did your half sister and the dog they would be on the edge of their seats for the next installment.
PS: I have several Google accounts but prefer taking this off line.

(Yeah okay you take everything offline since you can’t be Anonymous on the blog.   Whatever.)


I'm gonna post this on the blog because this is where it needs to be.

This is why I wrote that post.  This email right here.  It's like you WANT PEOPLE TO CRTICIZE ME.  You didn't like that I didn't respond to the criticism, and you minimize the people who have not expressed an opinion and just want to read the story.  It's like you want me to get beat up virtually or something, and you only cosign the critical comments.

I don't know how you figure you're acting as friend because you just won't quit with the criticism.  I heard you several times before already on this.  Again, if you don't approve then don't read.  You can have your opinions.  Like I said on the blog, just keep them to yourself.  I'm good.

See how he takes note to the fact that I didn’t respond to the thoughtful readers and only to the thrill seekers? He seems to frown when I only respond to the lighter comments.  I already know what it’s like to go back and forth with him, so why the f*ck would I do it with more people? 
I finally had to ask myself why was I trying to keep his comments private when I posted my shyt PUBLICLY on the blog? It didn’t make sense anymore.  All I know is that the locker room talk is done and this will no longer be a private conversation.  If we gonna talk about anything that I posted on this blog, then on this blog is where it will be discussed.  And that’s that. 
They are calling me to board my flight.  Now I get to look at the other brothers in this crew. 
(turn to glance and pretend to look towards one of the airport stores)
Hmmm...one of them looks pretty good.  I actually saw a lot of nice looking Dominican men here this week though.  I'm definitely coming back.  I liked passing for Dominican.  Once I start speaking in my fugged up Spanish my cover gets blown though.  LOL. 

Anyways...the attention was cool.  I got to practice my Spanish. 

As for the Shallow Hal posts, I'll think on it.  I'll think on it and maybe go ahead with it since I started the damn series????  So hey, maybe Shallow Hal is not over after all?? At times I have to take a break from hearing about his shyt cuz he is just hard to take.  I think that's why it takes so long for me to put the posts together.
Plus I do have other things to talk about besides his azz.
(to self...Hal or no Hal.  Hal or no Hal.)


  1. I dont even know what to say! But I am glad you are rethinking posting about Shallow Hal, yeah I would like to see where the story goes, but I started reading before you got into "the series" and continued to read because I like that you are forthright in sharing your feelings. We have all done things dont want to be scrutinized, well I know I have, and I appreciate your openess about some of the things in your life. Hal or not, I will continue to read.

  2. Yaaaaay!!
    I was starting to get a little worried there. I actually thought ... (don't judge me)... I thought you got your therapist to hypnotize you into forgetting you write a blog. :/
    lol anyways, it's great to see you back and better. glad you had fun and were able to de-stress in DR.

  3. I have been looking for a post from you since that jerk-wad decided to play the devil's advocate with you and us "thrill seekers". I hope you finish Shallow Hal but I totally understand how dealing with him and his drama is stressful. Also I want to hear about your trip and the other various goings with you. I really enjoy your writing style :o)

  4. I just started reading when you began the Shallow Hal series and I can honestly say it never crossed my mind to send you a judgemental comment. It takes a lot of courage to put your story out there. Your blog actually inspired me to start my own blog to get my ish that I don't feel I can talk to anyone in my real life out. I'm going to write my first post tonight. I don't know if you plan on continuing or not, but if you do I will read.

  5. I'm with everyone else. Hal or not, I enjoy reading your stories. Keep on writing and be blessed!

  6. Let me first say I love your blog! Its not easy being open but your truth is your truth!

  7. I have been a reader of your blog for a while now. Just never commented until now. I love your writing style and your stories. You are candid and open and honest. Which is extremely refreshing and very much welcome.

    I fully understand your reservations about the Shallow Hal series eventhough i woud love for you to finish it. Living in the caribbean the shallow hal series has almost become commonplace unfortunately. It doesnt shock anyone around here anymore that those things are happening. So many women i know of have been one of the 3 women in the series. what suprised me though was the haters. I wonder if these same people spew their venom to all the soap opera, reality tv and you tube video producers. I am sure they dont. Eventhough the 'drama' portrayed there defies all human logic and morals.

    I applaud you for posting the story and taking us through all the thoughts during it. But where you recieve a standing ovation from me is for the fact that you have let us as readers into your life. You are willing to show us the good the bad and ugly sans flowery masking.

    Thank you for that!

    Please continue writing, you truly have a gift.