Sunday, October 11, 2009

Broke Antidote #4: Meet Me a Man With Money in His Hand (cont.)

Ok I paid for the site and I put my profile up.  I got a few 'winks' from guys in the first couple of days.  I winked back at a few.  Some of the them wrote some great stuff.  But some seemed a little suspect.  Say for example the blond Native American (?) who winked at me but his profile pic showed a bald Latino guy?  Uh, I paid $120 for that?

But I guess I gotta grow into this internet dating thing.  My roomie uses it like one of my friends.  It takes some work it seems.  Winking at people and sending messages and stuff.  It's like Facebook.  I had to grow into that but you can get caught up on that for hours too.  Kim sends me shoes and others send me hugs and cause requests and yadda, yadda, yadda.  It's too much sometimes. 

So even though this is one of my strategies, I'm not working the plan that great.  One brother did walk up to me at the bus stop and chatted.  I gave him my business card and he called.  Like usual, I didn't call back.  Then one day I was walking home and there he was again.  We stopped and talked and he started to tell me he was in the music business and has a studio over here in Jersey and what not.  Then he kept talking about himself....okay?  He asked me did I know the hip hop group K9.  I was like not really, but it sounded familiar?  Then he said, "Well, I'm Sharif."  Um, okay? So what does that mean?  Again he says, "I'm Sharif."  Still nothing from me.  Then he says that he was part of that group that was around in the 80s!  I asked him how many songs did they have and he was like three.  Well I went online and it was more like one.  But anyway, he goes on to say that they have a big party at MTV for all the old groups and people come up to him and recognize him from K9 and what not.  All the while he is telling me this, a FINE, TALL brother comes jogging by.  He looked but Sharif was so busy talking that I couldn't take in all of the fineness. It looked like a hundred dollar bill running by me.  I felt robbed!!  I have lived here six years and I HAVE NEVER SEEN A GUY THAT FINE RUNNING, DRIVING, OR WALKING BY - EVER!!!!  I think it was a sign from God saying, "Girl, you see this man running by?  Stay focused and keep your eyes on the prize.  Sharif ain't it." 

So now Sharif is in his third story and I had been telling this man since he first stopped me that I was hungry and trying to go home.  "Well I'll walk you home."  Damn.  Can't shake him.  So we walk the two blocks and here we go again...that damn skunk is next to a fence that we were walking by.  I screamed and scared two other people standing by their car.  It was a guy and a girl and the guy nearly dove across his car hood when I yelled.  Ooops. 

Anyhow, Sharif walks me home and still wants to talk!! Damn, didn't I tell yo ass that I was hungry?  So I finally cut the convo off and he asks, "Are you gonna call me?"  My goodness.  What for?  I just met you, I'm hungry, and I just got punked by a skunk.  And you talk too much.  Nope.  So I sent him a text and send good night, and he should be glad I did that much.

UPDATE:  Sent me a text saying two days later, "I wanna see you".  Shudders.  I hate when guys say that and I am not feeling them like that.  But I was hungry.  So I thought that maybe I could get a free dinner out of him.  So we go back and forth and decide to meet at this cheap ass Chinese spot,  but I like their food so I wasn't too upset.  So we sit there in the light and now I can see 'Sharif".  Teeth jacked up and chapped lips. Point deduction for each.  Now he is telling me that his group is going on tour with R.Kelly.  Ok great man.  Then he was talking on the phone while we were there too.  Another point deduction.  Then after we leave he says, "Don't say I never fed you."  Huh?  That dish cost about $9.00 pardner and you ain't gettin' that many kudos for that.  Whatever points he might have had left are now in the negative numbers after saying that.  He walks me home again (can't shake him), and he kisses my cheek with those chapped, scratchy lips!  OMG.  Yuck.  More deductions.

Finally I'm home.

"Are you gonna call me?"

"Yeah, I'll call you." 

And did I?  What the heck do you think?

1 comment:

  1. {DING!!!}.... What is "Hell Nawww!!" Alex.

    Alex: That's correct for a thousand!!