Saturday, October 10, 2009

Day 17: The Power of "The File" and 65 Cents Raises


I have been waiting almost two years to get a raise.  And I open the letter, and I get 65 cents?  That's equivalent to about $26 per week.  I know people might say I should be happy for that in these times, but uh I'm not feeling that way one bit!  So over three years I have gotten a total of $1.37?  That averages to about 46 cents per year.  I waited almost a year and half to get an increase and that's what I got.  I'm sick.

I mean what am I supposed to do?  I went to the NFCC which is a not for profit credit counseling group, and we calculated that I need about an extra $1500 per month to cover everything.  That's equivalent to about what I would make at a little part time job, which I have been looking for since August.  And two months later, still nothing.

So I write a letter to my managers about my dissapointment (I guess that is spelled right, whassup this thing has no spell check - booty), and I know I said some risky things, but I said it the best way I know how. 

My friend Kim says that what I wrote was insulting to my employer.  How so?  This is the third go around for me and I haven't said anything for three years about pay there.  My review scores seem to determine the raise, and they give me a lot of "Meet Expectations' scores.  In some cases I don't think that is accurate.  Sure there is some down time where I might blog on some sites and stuff, but since the business closed I don't have many outside tasks anymore. If the company checked my searches they would probably see a lot about managing debt, bankruptcy stuff, and resume tips. But if in their minds I am just doing the minimum, I asked them in the letter to tell me how to get more "Exceeds Expectations" and "Outstanding" scores.  I told them that my situation is dire, and that this is the worst time that I am experiencing in my life financially.  It sucks and so did my raise.   But Kim makes it sound as if I should not expect anything and to go for a promotion.  There is no promotion for me as far as I see it.  I mean what do I get promoted to, "Head Executive Assistant?"  Head of who?  I'm the only one in the office! 

Then she says it was a bad idea to put in writing because it might go in my employee file.  Uh oh, here we go with the dreaded file.  In all the jobs I've worked at across the country, everyone is always so scared about what is in their damn file.  I mean I used to pull that mess when I was a manager when I was dealing with employees.  I used to put a lot of shyt in these files and didn't tell the employee, and I didn't have to.  It's a scare tactic that is used on so many of us minions in the world. 

I don't care about no damn file.  My bills gotta get paid.

I'd rather have what I said in writing anyway so it ain't no question wtf I said later.  That talking to managers can backfire and get all twisted up, even when another so called 'neutral' manager is there also.  I have been burned too many times with that so I put my stuff on paper.  If you want to put the letter in the file go ahead and file it dammit.   If someone wants to terminate me and use the file as ammo later then what can I do about it so why worry or concern myself with it?  The file is just another reason to be scared and be a slave to others and not say how you feel about things.  The file is the Boogey Man for grown folks.

Dig this movie scene I just made up just now. It is called "THE FILE"


Shot of outside of an office building.  Camera zooms in on the company name, "SELECT SLAVES, LLC.".  From the perspective of Karen, the door to the office building opens.  The security guard behind the glass window greets her by waving his hand.  The camera zooms in to show that the security guard has chains around his neck.

Karen walks down the hallway and passes the various offices.  People are sitting at their computers busy typing away. Some are running down the hall with files and papers, zipping in and out of offices. Karen speaks to each person, and they glance hurriedly at Karen and wave to acknowledge her greeting.  Each person she greets has chains around their neck.  Karen continues to walk down the hall. 

Creepy music plays.  At bottom right of screen a pair of men's shoes appear and stops in the hallway.  Whoever has stepped into the hallway is watching Karen.

Karen is seated in her cubicle staring at her computer.  A shot of the computer screen shows that she is looking at a gossip website.  Karen's chains are hanging on a hook next to her coat.

Creepy music plays.  The man's shoes are shown walking towards Karen's cubilce.  The shoes finally stop in front of Karen, and she turns, looks, and screams.

The camera follows the shoes up to the leg of the pants.  The man's body is in the shape of a file.  In big letters are typed "Karen's File".  Karen continues to scream.

Curious employees stop typing and walking, but they say nothing.  After a few seconds they go back to moving hurriedly back and forth between the offices.  None go in the direction of Karen's cube.

Karen clutches her head and continues to scream.  Karen's file begins to walk toward her with his arms outstretched.  Close up of Karen screaming.  The camera moves to the clock on Karen's desk.  It says 9:18am.  Karen is off screen and continues to scream.  Fade to black.

Scene opens in the employee break room.  The clock says 12:36pm.  Employees are huddled in a circle and are speaking in whispers.  Then one employee looks towards the door and his eyes widen.  The rest in the huddle first look at him, then towards the door.  Creepy music plays.  The File is standing in the doorway. 

The camera cuts back to the group, and instead of adults they are now mice in work clothes.  They all scurry away under the tables. 

The File (chuckling) - "That's right bitches.  You run and you don't even know what's in here."

The File points to his own chest.

The File - "Just the mere thought of it does the trick.  Damn.  That's some powerful shyt!"

The File walks away laughing louder. "Bad the Bone" plays in the background. 

Fade to black.

The file.  You never see it but it could come and 'get you' one day.  (*sucks teeth*).  Anyway...

That's all I'm gonna say about a goddamn file for today. 

I like working there and I don't want to leave, but I need more money.  So hey, I put it out there to them and it may not have been in the best way, and if they get mad, then...

The world is hyped about the economy but we are getting ready to spend $5000 for a Xmas party at work okay?  And the 20 or 30 offices across the US will be having one too.  Shyt f*ck the party and give me the money so I can buy me a new wig or some shoes.  I mean I have no shoes to wear seriously.  Just a bunch of mess with f'd up heels and soles that are 'talking' like we used to say back in 70s and 80s.  Like Pink says in her song, "Keep your drinks just gimme the money."  That shyt is the gospel.  Word up.

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