Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Broke Antidote #2 Revisited: I's Gettin' Real Tyred of My Roommate's Hair

I finally left a note for my roomie that I was gonna raise his rent because I'm cleaning up after his half cleaning up azz!  Now there's some extra money for me right there.

So here we go again.  Woke up and went in bathroom to take shower, and there were at least 10,000 hairs from the roomie's head in the soap dish, on the toilet, in the toilet, and on the wall (Ok maybe not  quite 10,000, more like 100,000!).  I mean I go in there all groggy and sleepy, and as soon as I see these hairs all over its like red lights start flashing and alarms start ringing.  And top to it off it seems like the hairs all wave at me and say, "GOOD MORNING, GOOD MORNING!!!"  Just a totally nasty scene, and I'm not exaggerating either.  Here's my photo evidence (the date stamp is wrong on the pics):

I mean the hairs might as well be little snakes because I scream and curse, and I don't want to touch or step on anything.  In my own bathroom!  My roomie is 50 something and he seems to be one of those types that does the absolute minimum when it comes to picking up after himself.  I mean he gets in the shower everyday and doesn't wash it out.  So along with the hair I have the little dirt ring too to greet me in the mornings too.  Now does that make any sense?  Even if he washed it out once a week I would even take that.  I have shower spray, Comet, Mold and Mildew remover in the bathroom but he won't use any of it.  I'm like whaasup?  Like do you have arthritis from all that hand action on lonely nights?  Is that why you can't squeeze the trigger on the shower spray in the morning? 

So even though I need his rent money, I have had it.  I swept up the hair on the floor, then I lifted the toilet seat to dump the dustpan and hair was stuck all under the seat.  ARGHHHH!  I was furious.  So I left the hair in the dustpan and put a note on it so he would see it when he got home.  I then put post-it notes in every spot where the hair was on the walls (see in the picture above) and on the toilet seat.  In the note I wrote that I would clean up for the both of us for an increase in rent.  Shyt I'm doing it any friggin' way so why not get paid?  As broke as I am I certainly am not going to clean up after a grown ass man for free.  My roomie's name is not Mister and I ain't no damn Celie.

Hmmm.  A thought just popped in my head...

You know I do wear a little headwrap when I get home at night and he sees me in it a lot.  Maybe since I look the part of Celie he might have it a little twisted?  Maybe he is confused or something?  Is the headwrap throwing him off?  Shoot, I bet he has never even seen The Color Purple anyway.  He's so boring and just a big ass corn muffin.  Well the hell if I know.  All I know is (in my Shug Avery voice), "I's gettin' real tyred of 'dis man's hair." 

So the 30 day notice for him to vacate is hot in my hands and ready to go.  My ad for a roomie was put up on Craigslist.  Gonna be more broke without his rent share but I'll just have to find someone else.  We did chat and he agrees that he is dropping the ball on the cleaning, but to me it's just words.  He's not gonna pick up after himself.  I mean he even left his shoes (some little Leprechaun sized shoes I might add) on the kitchen counter next to the dish drainer one day.   Hopeless.

I get paid this week and the rent is due, but I'm going on strike.  Headwrap or not, my palms gotta get greased with some green or the roomie and his hair follicles need to hit the damn pavement.  I already have enough problems. 

I think I wanna see MJ's flick.

Bought my lottery tickets yesterday.  Scratch off ticket was a loser.  Put some boots on layaway to get out for my birthday.  Yep, layaway.  It is what it is.  The days of instant gratification are over.

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