I can't really search for jobs and stuff like I used to at work after the Big Brother call the other day. I had a vision that this job told me that I was fired and I directly went out to the balcony here and just jumped over the edge. I had to shake those thoughts off. So to get my mind of off such morbid things and instead of blogging about other stuff in the world, I'm going to take a turn from the broke thing and make a wish list. This is really a procrastination move as I was supposed to make a new doctor's appointment. But scheduling the Pap Smear can never be more important than me blogging about myself right? :-)
The list is more about what I wished I would have done in my life since I'll be 40 years old in less than 40 days.
TWENTY THINGS I HAVE TO SAY "DAMN I WISH..." ABOUT...
- Damn I wish I would have used some of the buyout money I got at Motorola a few years ago to get a nose job. Seriously.
- Damn I wish I would have tried out for the pom-pom team in high school. But I thought I was not cute enough to try out. Actually someone encouraged me once but I still didn't do it.
- Damn I wish I would have never bought and wore shoes that were too tight because now I have corns. And when I tried to solve the corn problem, I wish I would have noticed that the doctor who worked on my feet back in 1994 had left one of my toes too long and now I have to go back and have the corn removed again! Arggghhh
- Damn I wish I would have tried out for commercials and TV shows when I was in grade school.
- Damn I wish I would have minored in Television or Media Studies at Rutgers while working on the Engineering degree.
- Damn I wish I would have taken that teaching scholarship at Lewis and Clark College in Portland and got my Master's Degree in teaching. But I was too chicken about being broke again after my first stint at full time teaching and didn't do it. That was a BIG mistake to turn that down. BIG.
- Damn I wish I would have went abroad for one summer during college.
- Damn I wish I would have taken more pictures of people in high school and college and kept a better scrap book. But I hated pictures myself so it was quite natural that I had no interest in taking pictures of others I guess.
- Damn I wish I would have called my father at least once every two weeks to check in and say Hi. Now that he's gone I regret that.
- Damn I wish I would have never invited my cousin "J" to work with me last summer because she just wasted my money and my time.
- Damn I wish that I didn't have to close my business in July. This hurts me so bad.
- Damn I wish I had the ability to have a voice that was culturally unidentifiable when I call people on the phone to take care of business. It always seems that I have to work my way up to a person's level in phone conversations.
- Damn I wish I would have never picked that damn mall to open my business. I also wish I would have never picked the new location to move my business into because it cost me $25K and a bunch of legal drama that I am still going through.
- Damn I wish I would have never taken that money to the restaurant with me the night I got robbed. The man stole $28K from me.
- Damn I wish I never applied for more than one credit card. I mean I had 13 in college at one time, including a gas card and I didn't even have a car. Pitiful. I wish my parents would have said SOMETHING about credit and saving. They never did.
- Damn I wish I kept up with my violin so that I could play in the subway and hustle for dollars right now.
- Damn I wish I had started my business ventures when I was in college.
- Damn I wish my cousin Kim wouldn't have gotten killed. She was so much fun!!!
- Damn I kinda wish I didn't get my cat 15 years ago because living with cat hair is a beotch!
- Damn I wish I could get my revenge on the person who put peanuts in my gas tank this past summer. That crap cost me $700 - money I did not have okay. Only one person I know could be that crazy, and she is one of my ex-employees. Maybe one day...
Anywho...lemme schedule this Pap Smear. I'm way overdue and I need to stop playing.