Friday, December 31, 2010

It Must Be Something In The Water

I tried my hardest not to make this post.  I really did. 

But I have conducted enough research, had enough conversations, and have had a few dates to be able to confidently make this conclusion:


The town is full of them.  I'm telling you it must be something in the water because the town is crawling with them.

I say this because:

Most can't make a f*ckin' decision or conduct research on a subject to save their f*cking lives.  

If we go somewhere simple like PF Chang's or The Cheesecake Factory they stare at the menu with dumb looks on their faces.  They are straight up baffled when it comes to making a selection!  I always end up having to suggest something for them.  One dude told me he never even tasted broccoli and he will be 40 in two months.  He shouldn't have even told me that - skrait up. I swear it's like having an overgrown toddler with me that has a goatee and pubic hair.

So helpless too.  "I don't know how to do that" is their favorite damn phrase.  Can barely use the internet or research how to do things.  Credit all f*cked up over $300 they didn't pay on some bullshyt azz cell phone they had from 2001.

They send you text messages like "Wut did u say?", "I didn't say dat", and "How you doin bb". And these are men OVER 35!!!!!!

Oh and did I mention cheap?  Broke azz muthafuccas won't tip or don't understand how much is to be given when you get the bill.  You'd be lucky if they laid down $5.00 on a $80.00 bill.

I mean some are nice, and could have potential to be a good man.  But then I am reminded of what my friend Kim always says, "Potential is for seventeen year olds."  At this age, you either got it or you don't.

I tell you, Jersey City is swarming with these men.  They are everywhere you look.  At the grocery store, the gym, the gas station.  Everywhere!  It's an epidemic!  THERE HAS GOT TO BE SOMETHING IN THE WATER.

If I didn't learn anything in 2010, that's one thing that I learned....that Jersey City has waayyy too many lames for the single female population.  I feel bad for my sistas there.  Thank goodness that I only bartend there and live in another town. 

I will NOT even entertain a Black man from Jersey City again. 
I have had it with the saggin pants, cornrows, and baseball caps.  I'm done.

The fact that some of them are even breathing and using up good air needs to be investigated.  For real.

I wish there was some type of hotline that I could call to have their azzes picked up.


  1. You know, I was content on just staying in lurker status, but this post just hit home. My sis just moved FROM Jersey City because of the (I quote) absolute most unimpressive group of men that have ever been gathered in one zip code...

  2. Another testimonial!!

    Whew! So it's not just me!

    Thank u c!

  3. Hahahaha!! You always have a good read lined up for me!!

  4. Where you meeting these dudes?

  5. Ahhhh, good question!

    I had a business there for five years and some were customers. Some I met at business networking functions in Jersey City. Lately, I have been meeting them at the bar I work at in Jersey City. I don't go out with these guys usually but I have been on a date or two over the years. I also say this from what I have observed and the conversations that I have had with them.

    What I say is real though. Someone may say well it's me and who I am attracting but nah, it's defininitely JC. In this case...


  6. I had to laugh at you going out on a date that said something like that but hindsight is 20/20

  7. It's not just Jersey City. Trust.