"Jean Claude van Damn He's Nasty"

... is in town.  Haitian born and with a Pepe LePew French accent.  Too bad he doesn't know how to talk dirty.  What a waste...:-)

He can help me get my mind off things.  Works for the border patrol and swears he's a bad azz, but he's nice.  Not quite cougar bait (he's 31) and he's not the cutest but he's aiight.  I ain't gotta really look at him anyway though right?  LOL.  I know that's bad but I'm just being honest.  Shyt guys don't look at female's faces most times and just stare at their bodies, so why can't I?  He has that something that I like and he works it VERY well.   Right now, that's enough for me.  I've been through a lot lately so I'll be lenient on my store policy on his cutie pie requirements.

So what's next?  I gotta get out my potions and toys so they are at the ready.  Just basic stuff that I bought at one of those sex parties.  I did list them here at first but I don't need to tell EVERYTHING!

Stress relief is what I need and he is exactly the one who can do it tonight.  Not gonna get all worked up about it though and keep my cool.  Sometimes you build things up in your mind and then it when jumps off you're saying things like, "Aw, that wasn't shyt" or "Man, that was a total waste of time."  It does happen every once in a while.

Weekend...

I participated in my second Elevator Pitch Competition this past weekend.  I didn't win (AGAIN) but the young lady did a good job or presenting her biz.  I made a couple of hot connections and I emailed them the next day.  I have to push hard.  My mind is still not right from what happened last week at the court and I really didn't prepare like I should have.  It's okay though.  I like this chick that I met and I like her energy.  I need people like that around me...movers and shakers.  The clock is ticking and I don't have time to waste.

On Friday I went to the therapist for an emergency session after the court thing and just started crying.  They just sit there and watch you cry too.  LOL.  I told her what happened with the attorneys and she said something very interesting.  She said that at times we have people that are treating us badly, and we hang on to them because we want to give them the benefit of the doubt and hope that they will change.  She said these people have already tried shytting on you and have been successful at it, and once they start the likelihood that they will stop is low if you don't shut it down in the early stages.  So when you don't shut it down, by the time you finally get tired of the person it is too damn late and the person has already f*cked you up royally.  Then you are sitting in her office hurt and crying.  The point she was trying to make was that if you are not comfortable with a situation or a person (even in a business transacation), recognize it for what it is and shut the madness down and walk away.  She said that our human nature is that we want to give people chances, but what for?  If you are getting bad service from someone then leave them be!  If you keep asking someone to give you something , like I was when I kept asking for my bills from my attorney, then don't pay them another dime until you get what you want.  There has to be a more immediate action that you take when questions and doubt appear in your mind about what someone is doing to you.

The bottom line is:  Why in the hell would you expect someone to change when they have constantly been doing the shyt to you?  Why would you give these people the benefit of the doubt? What do you gain from doing that?  A warm fuzzy feeling?  F*ck a warm fuzzy feeling my therapist said (well in so many words she said that.  She ain't that gangsta.)

The therapist says it is f*cked up to think this way about people, but you have to protect yourself.  That's all that matters.  Sad to say that my trust in people has greatly diminished, and will be even worse for those people who I am paying.  For these type of people, my zero tolerance policy will be in full effect.  And I may be considered a bytch or have BGA (Black Girl Attitude) like another blogger defines it, but I gotta protect myself.  I don't want to be sitting in the therapist's office crying no mo' over shyt that I could have prevented.

I'm going back to her today cuz I'm still buggin a little bit.  I do feel better.  I already starting icing folks though.  Like Mr. Sharpie with the high pitched voice and the little d*ck. 

I finally told him this weekend,

"Kofi, pleeeeaassse find you someone else to like.  You really need to find somebody else." 
"But I love you! You don't love me?"
"Arrgggh!  No I don't and I have BEEN telling you that.  It's never gonna happen.  You deserve to have someone that likes you back.  That's what you should try to do."
"I'm coming to your house."
"For what Kofi?  I don't like you like that and this madness just needs to stop.  For real.  This is getting ridiculous."

Pause.

He mumbled something else but I didn't hear it.  Then he hung up.

Well I had to be honest right?  He wasn't picking up the cues so I just had to make it simple and plain.  I had to do it.  Sad thing though is that his azz will probably call back in a few months.  I really wish he would find him a girl that likes him with the same intensity that he puts out. 

It ain't over between me and that lawyer though.  I'm cooking up a plan and doing my research.  Meanwhile I guess my attitude will be like the chick below.  Of course I will keep it classy, but if I'm paying yo' ass and you ain't doin' shyt right, F*CK YOU and GOODBYE..

and that's that!





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(Doesn't her hand seem a lil' huge in this pic though?)