Saturday, June 5, 2010

I Didn't Mean To Turn You On...

Ring the alarm!!!

"You know I wouldn't be taking you out if I wasn't kinda interested in you right?"

Filipino dude put his cards on the table last night when he was walking me to the subway.  Oh shyt.  Ok WTF happened?

Been thinking about it all day.  Was it silly of me to think that we were just 'hanging out"? 
I tried to even things out and offered to pick up the tab sometimes, but he wouldn't let me.  That has always worked for me in the past, but not with him.  So that kept turning into him taking ME out all the time.  Damn.  I knew he was feeling me a little, so it wasn't like I didn't see the train coming.  I think it all started when I kissed him on the cheek one time after going out for lunch.

But he's actually pretty cool.  He has a little flava about himself, and he always had a plan. He took me to this funky art gallery:

At the gallery, they had real taxi inside a Matchbox package.

and to this boardwalk garden place, 

View while walking around.  Mad funny.  People in NYC are crazeee!

and to some snooty bar that overlooked the city where glasses of wine cost $18.00.  

This was the view from that expensive azz bar.

All in the same evening!  When I went to the bathroom at this place there was no wall on one side.  It was only a window that looked out on the city so people could see you taking a piss or a dump if they had binoculars.  Risky!!!!  There was a sheer curtain to cover the bottom half of the window though but only up to your mid-thigh --- but I was daring and left my curtain open.  Danced a little bit too with my dress pulled up and my panties showing.  Shyt, why not??  LOL.

Anyway, I dunno man.  He is nice.  I ain't trying to be in anything serious with him, but if I considered it my concern would be his d*ck action.  I can't deal with a little d*ck right now, and I don't care how many fly places you take me to. 
So I guess I'll spend some time this weekend doing some d*ck research on the internet because I don't want to ASSUME it's little because he is Filipino.  I meant to do some research on d*ck a while ago after blogging about that Sharpie marker Mr. Ghana had:(  

That shyt blew my f*ckin mind.  WTF happened to the Mandingo myth??  I think I'll post about that next?  I'm also thinking about signing up for this BJ class and see what's up with that.  I always wondered how in the world those chicks in those porno flicks make those guys cum so fast giving head.  I'm curious ya know?  It's all a part of Operation Sexy and being the best cougar that I can be.  Giggle.  There is always room for improvement!  The class description says that you get feedback from others and what not too???  I don't know what that means exactly but I'm game for it.  Sounds tasty?  Hahaha.  Nah I'm just buggin'.  I'm sure that there will be some bananas somewhere in the room.

Anyway, can we just be friends?  When I was getting on the train he was trying to move in for a kiss too.   Nuh uh.  I sat on the train and kinda sat in a daze. 

Should I check it out or should I not?  I don't even know why I'm trippin' on this anyway.  Am I thinking about this just because he is being really nice to me?    Probably so.
Man.  I didn't mean to turn you on. The question now is --- am I gonna try to turn you off?   Or keep going....

(I love the break dancing monkey in this video!  That was the shyt back in 1984!)

SIDE THOUGHT:  I'm getting discouraged about blogging at times.  I gotta remind myself that I blog for my own therapy and I can't sweat not getting followers or comments or when people come on and leave less than a minute.  I wasn't gonna even publicize this damn thing so what the f*ck am I tripping about anyways?  I'm not in a competition with other bloggers who are way wittier and funnier and get more followers!  That's not why you started this thing.  Ok girl?  You trip too goddamn much about every goddamn thing.  Keep going for yourself. 

Thanks to those who do read though. 

And a special thanks to those sistas who added me to their blog rolls!  It just makes me smile that I made their lists!



  1. Well, I really don't know what to say... he does seem to have some style about himself. The fact that he wants to pay for everything and doesn't automatically want to hit that night is a great thing! He sounds like a gentleman. And you never know, he may have amazing skills downtown... that counts for something...

    Thank you for the Cherelle flashback.

    And on your sidenote: I feel you. Even though I say I just do this for free therapy, I do hope that people can connect to what I am writing about. And how so you get that traffic feed?
    Besides, most of those people who are not on the site for long are looking for some freaky stuff!!!

    Keep your head up and don't count lil man out!!!

  2. Hey Sassyme...where have ya been?

    Yeah I'll see. I'll try to keep an open mind???? LOL.

  3. I have been around. This thing with the Professor has got me goin' in circles LOL.

    Keep that open mind girl. Men with little units usually have developed other talents to compensate.

  4. Yeah I read that on your blog! Sounds like things are going well? Hey you can't comment on your blog anymore huh?

  5. At the bottom of the Feedjit thing you can click on it (it says 'Get Feedjit'), and put it on your site.

  6. Thanks. I have the Feedjit now. I just posted a test post on my blog. It showed up. Come by and try again. I'd love to know someone else is reading... Now I can tell with the Feedjit thingy.

  7. Whats up girlfriend - just got back from Cancun and of course I'm trying to catch up with your stuff. I'm a bit curious though - we talked about a man's fascination with a woman's derriere and as I saw it it was basically a visual thing - not that I pass judgment on anal sex but that is not what most men think about primarily. We all like to get our freak on sometimes but my question is from a womans perspective
    1. What if he had a big one and just plowed the field and not concerned himself with your pleasure. No foreplay, no dating, no head (lol), no stamina, no respect .... would that be OK?
    Probably some of those "losers" you referred to in your prior blogs would be great candidates for that.
    Besides I always thought the biggest organ a person had was their brain anyway. There are so many ways to please and be pleased but I would think the most pleasurable is to actually like the person your with - don't you?

  8. hmmm... Filipino penis myths... I cant really help you on that but I think you should just ask him... and then say you were joking.

    for example:

    Dude, I heard that all filipino mean have small dicks... prove me wrong.

    If he gets all pink and pull away- beware! He probably has an anorexic dick. If he gets cocky... then he may very well just be... eh cocky.

    Ps. dont get your panties in a bunch about blogging... i have two hundred plus followers but have you ever seen 200 comments? Sometimes you just have to keep in mind why you are writing.

  9. Ooooh lawd!!! I have so much to say!!! *drawing a blank* Dammit I knew I should have written my thoughts down!

    1. I say let his ass keep thinking he has a chance until you figure out whether or not he has one

    2. The bathroom thing sounds cool/slightly voyeuristic and sexy all at the same time.

    3. Since he thinks he has a chance anyway... I say you just ask his ass flat out what hes dealing with! Tell him to pull that shit right on out cuz you need to know what the hell you are/might be working with!

    4. Dont get discouraged from blogging!!!! Blog for yourself. Be true and honest to you at all times. Blogging is so therapeutic that you dont even want to taint with numbers and comments and such. If people like you.. great and if not Oh the hell well you probably wouldn't have liked their asses either!! I used to have the blog counters and then I got too obsessed with them so I deleted them all! I blog for me and the ones who continue to read what I say are the ones who appreciate my honesty!! Keep up the bloggin boo!!

  10. @jb

    Hey! I hope the trip was fun!!!! Boy u r lucky! Blogger was messed up earlier so I'm responding now.

    Ok do I sound d*ck obsessed on this blog? LOL. I know it probably seems that way in my posts doesn't it? That's totally my fault. I do like intellect on a man! I do! But sometimes those smarty pants types overthink sex and mess things up (remember Hot Chocolate?). But to answer your question - nah I probably wouldn't like it if he was all rush rush about it. I don't know many women who would except a prostitute who is trying to get paid. haha.

    Honestly, I have realized something about myself now that rewind about how I have talked about d*cks so much on this blog...if I instantly start talking about a dude's package I must not be feeling him intellectually at first anyway. I may just be looking at him physically bc something else is not there. I guess it is the same for men wanting to get with women because her body is nice. They just wanna f*ck her and see if she is cool lata. Also, you may have to blame some of my thoughts on the Scorpio in me too. I'm sorry.

    I guess if I keep it on a physical level in my mind I won't let dude get in my head and mess me up. Don't need mind trips, jealously, or feeling obligated to anyone.

    Not all men have to be LARGE to please. They can please in other ways. I know. I know. I won't count a man out for that. Really, I wouldn't - except Mr. Ghana who was already annoying as hell and then when I touched his little d*ck that just messed up any chance he might have had.

  11. @ atruhollywood....

    That's a good idea about taking certain features off the that Feedjit thing. It's cool but then in some ways it's not. I guess I just had to go thru the Blogger Blues. Once I get to the I don't GAF mode then I'll be all good!

    Ok I'm gonna go with 1 and 3 from your post, and I'm gonna use Khaki's line to get the game started! I'm lovin' those California diva tricks! Keep 'em coming!

    Love it!!!!

  12. @ Khaki...

    I likes! I likes! LOL. I think I could say that to him and he might be game. So...will he be 'pink' or 'cocky'?

    What you said about the blogging thing and hang ups - well said. It's like it was getting more important than the purpose of writing. So I'm glad I wrote about it and got comments. I really am. Like you said - I have to remember the purpose of why I even started this and that's what I needed to hear to bring me back to MY reality.

    Thank you!

  13. There's something about your "aura" your convo as you say that I really like. I take most of your subject matter as a jumping off place - so no you don't come off as d#ick obsessed. I read somewhere that most normal people think of sex several times a minute (or something like that). You do however come off as SIZE obessed (smile)!! Not that I personally need to defend the less fortunate. I understand that all else being the same a big one would be the grand slam. So sex is good and good sex is even better!! Let me put it to you another way one of my fantasies was to have sex with multiple woman. On a couple of occasions I did with folks I didn't really know. You know what it was not as hot as I imagined - not because of them but the impersonal feel of it all. I felt so Sodom and Gomorrah! So beware of what you wish for! What I think is that you like this guy as a friend, as you should, but not as a bed mate and it really has little to do with size.
    PS: Don't you dare stop and Cancun was off the chain!!!

  14. @ jb...

    LOL. Ok, ok. Maybe I do talk about size a lil much. Oh and as for threesomes...that's another story! But I can understand what you meant about that. :)

    But bigger doesn't necessarily mean better. I know. Actually kisses tell a lot about a person. A lot!

    I don't know why I am fast fowarding to these sex thoughts about this guy anyway. I gotta check myself on that. We will just hang out for now. Hell, he may be on an azz quest himself. Time will tell. Anyway I was supposed to be looking for a man with money in his hand, not d*ck in his hand! I need to get focused! LOL!

  15. "Anyway I was supposed to be looking for a man with money in his hand, not d*ck in his hand! I need to get focused! LOL!"

    2 FUNNY!!!

  16. "I can't deal with a little dick right now and I dont care how many fly places you take me to"