Friday, June 3, 2011

I Thought We Had This Conversation Bruh?

Here we go again.

So at 8:15 in the morning you send me this text:

"Good morning.  I have a question for you and keep it real.  R u fucking with someone from the bar or in (city)?  Yes or no."

"Ok what did you hear this time?"

"Yes or no"

"Here we go again.  Sigh."

"Ur not answering the question"

"Call me.  Not gonna be texting convos today."


"Ok so what's going on?  Why are you asking me that?"

"Cuz I just wanna know.  It's a simple yes or no question."

"Ok so why are you asking?"

"Why are you dancing around the question and not answering."

"Because for one thing, you don't ask me a question like that, 'Are you fucking with someone else...'.  I'm not your girl, baby momma, or your niece.  You don't pose a question to me like that."

"But you're dancing around the question.  You making me think it's true."

"Man look, ain't nobody dancing around anything.  Tell me why you're asking and then I'll answer."


Uh huh.  He hung up.  See, he's gettin' too caught up.

Just like my You Cannot Catch Feelings post said,  if we are on a Coochie Contract, you do not wonder what I do with other people!!!  I never ask what you do or who you do it with, cuz the contract doesn't allow it.  But once you start asking those type of questions, you start crossing over into "You're my woman" territory--and you never stop asking.  It will keep coming up every once in a while and causing arguments.  It all just becomes a big ole mess and then we start arguing like we are a couple.  A couple.  Whoa.  This is when it all has to stop.

Now in this case, whoever told this fool that I was dealing with somebody in the bar is lying.  Real talk.  I know now after messing with this one not to go there again.  But my question is, why the hell is somebody bringing me up to him anyway?  Hmmmm.  You know why?  Because the person who told this fool KNOWS that he is that 'somebody I'm f*ckin' with".  That's what I think.  Or it could be his food stamp scamming niece who was in the bar the other night.  She probably told him something crazy too.  Yeah I flirt when I am bartending...because I'm trying to get tips from these cheap azz muthafuccas!  Don't you get it!  It's A JOB!  Not a fuggin' d*ck buffet.  All that's on the menu there is a bunch of low functioning-low ambition-never eating vegetables-no credit having-three baby having dudes.  I can find a dude like that any damn where, so WHY THE FLUCK would I choose one from where I work.  Yeah I know.  I got this one from there, but never again.

So after alla that texting back and forth, I sent him a text saying that it was over.

"Wow, just because I asked you a question?"

Yep!  And also because you're a repeat offender too.  This is the second time he has tried to come at me with some stuff he heard, and I am not down with having to explain what I do when I am not around you Mister Man.  And I don't justify or acknowledge "Tales from the Hood" and other ghetto gossip either.  I ain't got time for jealous acting d*ck roster candidates.  I don't do well with those type of guys AT ALL. 

So it's done.  Too bad.  He's actually a nice guy though.  But I think he might get hurt eventually with this 'open' relationship thing we got going.  I'm not surprised though.  Truth be told, most guys can't handle that.  Even if they got somebody else, and dealing with you too, they seem to not be able to handle the female kickin' it with anyone else but them.  Their egos won't allow it.

Cardinal Rule No.3 for a D*ck Roster Candidate:

If he starts catches feelings, pull back. 
Especially if you know he really ain't boyfriend potential anwyay. 
Just find you another one.  It'll much easier - for both of you.

What a waste.  He was actually kind of cool to be around, but it's gettin' too heavy.

So off to The Friend Zone he goes!



  1. "Truth be told, most guys can't handle that. Even if they got somebody else, and dealing with you too, they seem to not be able to handle the female kickin' it with anyone else but them. Their egos won't allow it."
    ^^^SO EFFIN TRUE!!! Yet and still people try to pretend like women are the "jealous" ones and the only ones that catch feelings. Its human nature regardless of your genitalia!

  2. ^ Truth! I love how they shut down on you when you let them know what time it is and that you're not exclusive.

  3. LOL...they usually try to act like they're down for it. Time always reveals the truth.

  4. No more coochie coupons for him! LOL

  5. The question that perplexes me is how do you not start with the lying. In my brief new career :) you will not get the coochie if you say BTW I'm banging XY&Z but hey I like you too. I haven't figured how to pull that off yet. As you said, even with woman that may or may not be seeing others, everybody wants to feel exclusive. As a man when you get down to the nitty gritty the thought of others being were you mouth is - just don't feel right :)

  6. Funny how easy it is for them to dish the shit out when they can't take it huh??? LOL

    He be aiight.

  7. Bunch of basic bitches. You're all on the shelf wasting away with a false sense of accomplishment. What you seem to forget is that there's ALWAYS a next female round the corner eager to replace you. Whoring about giving pussy to every Tom, Dick and Harry is nothing to be proud of.