Monday, May 31, 2010

Day #242: Ease Ur Azzes On Down The Road

Damn those three off days for Memorial Day went by fast as hell! 

It was an interesting weekend because I burnt my face when a shell flew and hit my cheek when I was shooting my new gun at the shooting range.  Boo!  It's right under my eye and it looks really jacked up.  I mean I bought the gun to BE gangsta (if necessary), but I wasn't tryin' to LOOK gangsta.  Marking up my face at this stage in my life ain't a good look at all.

<<< Unless I looked like this chick.  Guys probably wouldn't even look at my face. 

Oh well.  :(

Good news though...


Shrek, Fiona, and their donkeys - MOVED. 

They just bounced overnight.  I came downstairs this morning and the porter told me.  I couldn't believe it!  After four months of bump, jump, drop, and stomp - is it really finally over?

I let out a big sigh and my legs buckled underneath me and I fell onto the steps.  The porter hugged me and patted my back.  Lawd, thank you!!!

(Opens cabinet and gets out a glass, singing...)

"Can't you,
feel ah,
brand new day!
Can't you, 
feel ah,
brand new daaaaaayyyy!"

They sung that on The Wiz last night.  Yes I do feel a brand new day. Hell I might even go upstairs and do that little dance Diana and Mike did in the movie --- in front of their FORMER APARTMENT.  Mmmm hmmm.

What a ride it has been!  Since February 14th. 

I see all of their raggedy shyt piled up on the street for the garbage too.  What a lovely sight.  It was so lovely that I decided to capture the moment for nostalgia's sake:

Yep I'm wrong for taking that pic, but never in my life have I been so happy to see somebody else's garbage.  I should have took a pic of me jumping up and down on that cheap azz couch too!  Damn.  Now I think of it!

In memoriam, I took a look back at all of the posts I made about those lame muthafuccas.  They got a LOT of airplay in my little diary.

I know this much though, because of them I will never go see Riverdance - even if you paid me.  I will never go to Chuck-e-Cheese.  I will never move into a cheap azz apartment building either because like they always say, if it sounds to good to be true, it probably is.

So glad they finally decided to get their azzes up outta here!!  They knew they were bogus and that's why they moved out like that.  Don't nobody wanna hear that noise shyt day in and day out, and I wasn't playing.  I was calling the police, writing letters, and watching Judge Judy on the daily.  I was getting ready for war!  The court date for the eviction was at the end of June, but I guess they decided to bounce early to avoid the embarassment.

Excellent choice. 

(Takes glass and pours liquid from my Box-O-Wine, singing...)

"Ease on down, ease ur azz down the road.

Go on and, ease on down,
ease ur azz down, the ro-oh-oad.

Pack up all your shyt,
and I hope it's a heavy load.

Go on and, ease on down,
ease ur azz down,
the ro-oh-oad!"

Great songs that movie The Wiz had...

(Raises my glass to toast, then sips wine)



  1. Oh no! thats what I have to look forward to when my new neighbors move in 3 weeks from now?!?!? im gonna have to move.

  2. @ Khaki

    Helllooo!! (waving)

    All I can say is, just hope that your building is built well.

    I have been TRAUMATIZED to say the least. I'm scared to know who is moving upstairs from me my damn self! It's really not over over for me I guess.

  3. Amen amen.... whooo lawd and look at that raggedy ass couch!!! Ok so I was wrong for that but OH WELL!

  4. Oh and shoutout to whoever visited your blog from Rialto... thats my hometown Heyyy!!!! (lol watch it be my nosey ass little sister infiltrating my blogroll from her room)

  5. @ atruhollywood...

    Gurl ask your sis and see what she says? That's funny you spotted her on that feed!!! LOL.