From my phone...
I'm on the slave ship going home and FINALLY I see a cutie pie! Sitting right next to me. Ooh can I stare at you for these last two stops before I get off?  Whew! Not a brutha though.  Dominican, Cuban, or from Panama maybe?  Brown in all the right places....Oh he's getting off! Bye honey! Thank you for riding NJ Transit!  I love u!

Day 208: You Ain't Special

Question:

Why do people think that they are special or get a pass for being noisy because they have kids?

I used to be a teacher with a room full of kids and get this...you feelin' special is something created in your own damn mind.  You have to follow the rules like anyone else.  Nowhere in the law does it say that because 'kids are kids' that others have to put up with you and your brats.  Like last week I was on the slave ship going home and for 30 minutes this little girl sang songs until she got off the bus with her mother.  The playlist?  The Barney Song, We Wish You a Merry Christmas, and Frosty The Snowman.  LOUD.  And Mom sat there and didn't utter a sound.  People were looking mad as hell.

I swear these assholes upstairs are driving me crazy.  I feel like I rented a room at The Chuck E. Cheese Hotel.  This place is f*ckin' zoo with dogs barking, kids screaming, and strollers in the hall and shyt. 

On Sunday I called the cops because they were blasting their music, on top of their kids running back and forth.  If I can't enjoy my apartment like I want, then you can't either dammit.  Since they got the eviction notice they are deliberately walking hard and making noise now.  Right now I don't give a f*ck about them and the fact that they have kids though.  Shyt, that was YOUR decision to have them - not mine.  I pay my hard earned money to live peacefully just like anyone else, and you need to keep your noise and hard walking to your damn self.   I understand that you might hear things occasionally, but every night?  It's like they have a schedule.  I swear I'm starting to dream about getting revenge on them. 

People are quick to try to say that I don't understand because I don't have kids.  Uh, I don't have to understand shyt about you and your kids.  All I understand is that I pay my rent and that I don't want to hear that hard ass walking every damn night.  I don't want to hear shyt dropping hard every night and every morning at 6am.  I mean even if they got a carpet it might muffle things a little, but they won't get it and then they choose to walk with hard shoes on.  So they think that I can't call the cops on that shyt?  Just watch dammit. 

I just went thru the bankruptcy, then I moved from that azzhole landlord, then my lawyers are giving me shade, and now this.  Now I have to come out of my pocket to try to move again?  I'm telling you, I'm getting real tired of this congested Jersey/NYC shyt.  This building is so lame that I can smell what other people are cooking for dinner!!!  What's the point?  I am really thinking that in the next two years I will head back to Chicago.  F*ck the bullshyt.

There ain't hardly any fine brothers out here anyway (well I don't see many where a I work usually).

Forget these old men too - (50 plus).  So if your name is Otis, Roy, Cornell, or Stanley - I'm probably not for you.  I rather have the salt and pepper on my salad than in your hair.  Older men are nice but they are too set in their ways.  Me no likey no mo'.

From my phone

Question of the day...
Why can't I go to the gym and not be bothered by those staff people trying to get u to sign up for personal training? I hate that shyt so much. They don't give a care about ur damn workout! All they trying to do is meet there damn quotas. And of course it is always the bruthas. I know it may seem odd that a sista is actually in the gym, but that doesn't mean I need u to save me from myself. Ugh. I hate that.

I'm So Wrong For This

I'll make this short and to the point.

Went out with my African friend. 

He's been after me for a long time, and just like most of those African dudes, he is always saying, "I love you.  I want to marry you.  Oh I'm sick over you girl!" 

Will you please shut up with that already? 

Nice face but skinny like JJ from Good Times.  But you know what else was skinny?  Yeah you guessed it.  I decided to glide my hand across it to see what he was working with...

It was maybe a smidge bigger than this marker.  No lie. 

Yikes!  I snatched my hand away like I had touched a garter snake or something. 

I know I'm wrong for this post but I kinda feel like I molested a teenager.  I don't mind a skinny man, but damn. 

Po' thang.  Wow. 

Day 197: Weak Ass Games Nuccas Play

Every once in a while, you run into a dude that assumes that because you are single that you are SOOOO thirsty for some dyck that you will fall for the o-ke-doke...

 

Trumpets please!

 

AND NOW IT'S TIME FOR ANOTHER INSTALLMENT OF....

ADVENTURES IN DATING:

HOW I MET ANOTHER BUSTED,

NO GAME HAVING MOTHAFUCCA

 

I met this dude while I was walking in Times Square.  Because there are so many wide-eyed tourists clogging up the streets, people are always hustling shyt - bootleg bags, watches, show tickets, Obama condoms - everything.   So when I walked by he was hustling tickets to those comedy shows around there.  I didn't want any friggin' tickets, but we talked and even though the convo was real cool, I was already visualizing the word 'friend' tatooed on his forehead.  He looked aiight, but there was nothing there.   

I gave him my number anyway though.  "I need some new friends so it's cool", is what I said to myself.

A few text messages were exchanged but that was about it.  No biggie.  Some months went by and then out of the blue sky he calls me.    I had forgot who he was and even though he said his name it went right outta my head!  I was ten minutes into the convo and I felt bad because I didn't want to ask his name again after he had just told it to me.  So I just winged it.  He was too busy talking about himself to notice I had not said his name anyway.  "Oh I'm in the music biz and been to Europe," and yadda yadda.  

All of sudden though, things speed up.  He asks can he come over to my house to fix me dinner the next day.

Say what? 

Uh slow down brutha.  We had ONE conversation, I don't know you, and I don't even know your name.  So why would I let you up in my place around my knives and shyt?  Nuh uh.  So I told him that I thought we should go out somewhere instead.  He was like okay but it was like he didn't get it.  Now he was like well after going out I could come by HIS house in Brooklyn so he could make some drinks.   WTF?

We set a date to meet out anyway, even though he sounded kinda reluctant about it.  But thank the lawd it was a snowstorm that weekend so I didn't meet him after all.  Weeks go by and no call from him.  Cool.

So the other day, I get a text from him. 

"Hey stranger.  I want to see if you were busy tonight so that I can come by your house and fix that dinner that I promised you."

Are you a f*ckin' nut?  You don't even call me and we spoke one damn time.  And on top of that how are you gonna TEXT ME for a dinner date?  No game having mothafucca.  I already told yo' azz that you ain't coming over here.  Sheesh.  So I sent a text back and said I would meet him for drinks to see what his next move would be. 

You guessed it.  Nothing. 

Nothing but crickets, and that was three days ago!  If he was trying to be smooth he could have at least sent a text back to TRY to keep his weak game up. 

So now I'm trying to figure out what to make of that shyt.  Why was he trying to be all up in my apartment so damn fast?  Someone told me that he wanted to fatten me up so that when I went to the bathroom he could go through the panties in my dresser.  WoooooW (in my Flava Flav voice).   Did I have an encounter with The Pantie Bandit?  Nah I think he was more like The Pussy Bandit. Who the hell knows.

Or did I say that I was a Scorpio in our convo?  Did he think I was that feenin' for dyck or something?   Nucca please!  Don't you know I have a drawer full of toys and other random shyt that I can use at a moment's notice?  I can be quite satisfied with those and my freaky imagination alone.  I mean it ain't nuthin' like the real thing of course, but there are times when you kinda don't wanna go thru all of that. Toys don't talk back, don't beg, don't get sweat all over you, and don't mess up your sheets so I gotta be going to the laundry.  For real.

Or was HE thirsty for some azz?  I guess he called himself bringing his best game talking about "I'll fix you dinner" like I would get wet over that shyt or something.  Man save that weak game for the young chicks.   

And then he was like come to my house in Brooklyn? !!! Uh I don't need to go out of my area code for some dyck okay?  There are plenty of dycks right here in 201 area code that I can work with. 

Wow.  For some reason men tend to think that dyck is hard to find or get.  Um, no.

I don't have time to be playing games.  Most women don't.  If you trying to get some azz there are ways to make your intentions known, both smooth ways and freaky ways.  If you got game, you'll know when to pull the freaky card so as to not f*ck up any chances u might have.  When will some of y'all learn?!!!!!

A grown azz man playing p*ssy games is NOT the bizness...

 

Test! From my phone.

The Asian chick I sat next to on the bus yesterday mouth smelled like shyt!  She was sleeping and breathing heavy and I couldn't even concentrate on the music coming from my new IPhone.  She was causing interference with  my brain waves and was ruining it for me!  Man I was wishing that I had some tape to put over every hole on her damn face. 

Test test!

Operation Sexy Has Begun

First let me say that it ain't fair.  Where are the websites where older women can find the young bucks who like cougars like me?

I ask that because the dudes on Match.com are a trip.  Forty year old broke ass dudes have their age cut off at 34 for women sometimes.  WTF.  Hell I barely look 30 but these azzholes always want some young booty anyway.  Men just have this damn fascination with being with younger women I guess.   So I've decided that I will pretend to be a little younger myself dammit.  I am gonna change my age in my profile today and put that I am 28.  Let's see what happens with my little experiment and my 'wink' quota.

But in the meantime....  

On Good Friday I launched my Operation Sexy campaign.  It's summer and ain't no f*ckin' way am I gonna be sittin' up in that noisy azz apartment alone every Friday and Saturday night.

First on the agenda, fixing my toes.  Yep I did it!  I had surgery on them bad boys on Good Friday.  It was the first step to living a corn free life.  I wanna wear cute sandals without having to put foundation on my toes all the time.  I mean what was I supposed to do!  I told the doctor that I did that and he chuckled.  Powder and liquid makeup does a lil' sumthin, but it just wasn't gettin' the job done.  

Ooh I can't believe that I'm on here talking about my feet.  Feet and hair have always been taboo subjects for me.  Well I said I wasn't being honest on here before so whatever.  It's out here now.

So I cut three of them.  I would show the pics but I already scared my ex-boyfriend so I'll spare everyone else I guess.  Ah, it really doesn't look that bad honestly.

But this ain't the first time I did this.  I had already chopped some of them down years ago, but there was this one that missed the knife.  The dumb doctor left this one untouched for some reason.  Hell, I figured that I have too much working against me already that I don't need jacked up feet too.  I rather have the little scars and keep it movin'.

So right now I am wearing those big surgical shoes.  A man looked at my feet on the street and was like, "I hope you get better."  LOL.  Man, I will be 100% better!  By July or August I'll be wearing some cute ass sandals and strutting down 6th Avenue like I was on America's Next Top Cougar. 

*snaps fingers*

Meooowwww bytches!!!

So while I'm healing my footsies I'm on to the next phase of Operation Sexy.  Can't waste any time ya know!  I can't do any running or step classes yet, but I can still do my weight training. 

I can see it now...I'm gonna have thighs that say POWWW! 

And with my cute feet too?  Puhleeze.  You ain't gonna be able to tell me nuthin'!

Hey I just got an idea!  I think I might take a pic with me sitting like Bey in this pic and put it on Match!!!  Yeah, yeah.  That's it.  Hell if a dude can straddle a statue of a bull in his profile pic I sure as hell can do this pose?  Why not dammit?  Man I love it when I type on the blog because I think of some great shyt to do!  LOL.

Of course having my abs, arms, and booty make some noise is part of the plan too.  I was already on it and I go the gym anyways, but I can substitute some of the cardio that I can't really do for leg workouts.  I'm on it.  I'm on it.

So right now I look a lil busted with these black shoes, and people actually feel sorry for me when they see me walking in them.  LOL.  But soon, very soon, I won't be getting any more sympathetic looks.  That's because when I strut down the streets of NYC I'll be swinging my hips, tossing my fake hair, and singing that Prince classic in my head...

Now come on, who doesn't want to be a sexy mothafucca every now and then? 

Giggle.

Day #190: It Could Have Been Me Too

I posted about the couple the other day being shot.  It could have been me.

Two years ago this past weekend someone put a gun to the back of my head and robbed me.  It was all caught on camera.

The man walked up to me and whispered something in my ear.  It took me one second to realize someone was behind me and I started to scream.  He pushed the gun harder behind my ear and I fell to the ground.

He took my bag and ran.  I won't say how much he took because idiots will be asking dumb shyt like why I was I carrying that cash and blah, blah, blah.  F*ck you.  He took my car keys, house keys, wallet, passport.  I couldn't drive myself home or get in my house.

The cops made me take a lie detector test and asked me if I set the robbery up as an initiation to be in the Bloods.  Seriously.  Why in the hell would I try to be in a damn gang at my age?  They made me feel small.

That's why I see this therapist that I talk about in this blog.  I was in so much financial trouble that I felt that he should have just killed me anyways.  I was dizzy all the time and felt dead inside.  Everything in my life was f*d up.  Everything. 

Maybe that's why I am tripping about that couple.  It could have been me.  People tell me to be grateful that I am alive.  I'll be honest though, sometimes I don't feel that way.

I think I might go to the guy's wake tomorrow.  I'm tripping in my head today.  In my mind I keep seeing that guy running away from me with my bag.  I keep seeing it today. 

Hmmm.  Two years ago - April 3rd.

Why do I memorialize this?  I asked the therapist and she asked me to ask myself.

"I don't know why."

That was all I could say. 
????

Day #189: It's Official...

IN THE EYES OF THESE UNITED STATES,

I AM OFFICIALLY

BANKRUPT

I got my letter yesterday...

When I opened the letter my hands were confused and I couldn't open the envelope right at first.  I guess I was scared that the letter would say otherwise and tell me that they weren't giving me a pass,

"Sorry boo, but you're gonna have to pay that $90K back the best way you know how."

I've been thinking that way for the past four months.  Pessimistic as usual.  But the letter didn't say that and it's done. 

So how did I feel about it?   Would I be wrong if I said that I whispered, 

"Hooray!"

I silently cheered amongst the mailboxes at the Post Office where I get my mail.  Yeah that same mailbox that I dreaded opening sometimes.  I looked around at the other mailboxes in there that were probably filled with bills and bad news.  But not my mailbox son!!!!  Today I got some good news.  No credit cards, no business loans, no back rent to pay - nothing.  It's a wrap.

Yeah I gotta admit it's kinda cool to be debt free. 

My credit score ain't shyt right now but I can build it back up.  Still broke, but I'll be cool. 

So I'm movin' on to other thangs now...like OPERATION SEXY.  

So goodbye to all you creditors!  You get no more love (and money) from me.

Smooches!! 

I Have Hate in My Heart Today...

Michael Muchioki and Nia Haqq

Two people shot in the head after coming home from their own engagement party.

I'll come and speak on it on my own blog because the local website that is reporting on this is straight tripping with fools and I think friends of the couple who are flagging everything anyone says.  It instantly vanishes.  So many people have said so many supportive things on this couple but someone on the site is flagging almost everything, especially if you respond to an ignoramous.  I mean seriously, flagging a few posts ain't changing anyone's line of thinking.  People want to speak out and you can't even do it on that dumb site.   

So here I am on my own thing talking 'bout it.  Can't flag me here, and I'm the President of this here blog and I moderate the comments so that's that.

Therefore I will divert from talking about myself on this post today, and just talk about how much I hate these fools who did this.  Yes, I hate that this happened, and I hate the people who justified it in their heads to attack these people and kill them over a car.

It sounds like it was some gang initiation bullshyt honestly.  I don't know, but I hate to hear this and I can't get it out of my mind right now.  Mike was 27 and Nia was 25.  No I didn't know them, but I have come to know them through the stories that I have read about them.  I think this guy even came into my store a few times too.   The stories and pictures kill my soul...www.lovemikenia.com.  Pure madness.

Two girls and a man are the suspects.  I repeat - two stupid azz girls!!! 

Why do we breed this killer mindset in the Black community?  This morning I had an image of myself driving down MLK Blvd in Jersey City in a big black tank and just shooting all those mothafuccas that stand out there late at night selling drugs and robbing people.  Then I had another image of me loading all of them up into a big truck and shipping their azzes to Afghanistan.  Chicken head girls included. Let's see how bad your azzes act when you get in the middle of that mess.   

I'm disgusted today.  For the past four days I have heard about this story and I am just angry and tired of hearing this shyt!!! 

WTF are we doing to each other?  We are killing each other and at the same time killing the image of ourselves in this society. 

The story of what happened is here - on Easter Sunday of all days.

http://www.nj.com/hudson/index.ssf/2010/04/massive_hunt_for_depraved_kill.html

I Didn't Get The Big Check

I didn't win the business plan competition.

Sigh.

A sista with a dance school won the $25,000 prize.  Not gonna hate either.  She was a good choice.  She started to cry when she won.  Hell I am the one that should have been crying.

I went up against nine others (I thought it was six until I got there). And I was first too!  My competition was tough, and I probably practiced my three minute speech 100 times.  I practiced it so much that my throat was sore by the time it was my turn.

I went up there and did my thing, and a couple of people came up to me afterwards and said that I did a good job.  One lady came to me and said that after she heard me she thought that I should be the winner, until the dance school lady came up.  So good job, but not good enough I guess.  So I put on my dirty pink coat, gathered my papers, and left.  I did my very best though.  No regrets.

I know that I had some haters amongst the judges because people don't feel business concepts in urban areas most times.  I couldn't help to feel some shame about the fact that my business closed.  I felt embarrassed about it.  Even one of the judges told me that one guy questioned that during the deliberations.  But this judge I was speaking to said that I shouldn't feel like I failed.  A lot of entrepreneurs fail at things, but that shouldn't stop me from pushing on.  

But I didn't win.  So isn't that another failure?

Anyway, I've heard it all before.

"Yeah girl, keep ya head up."
"Don't let him stop you! You'll be back!"

Well I don't need words.  I need money.  I know that sounds stank but that's how I feel today.

Like I said on my website, the business closed because my money dried up after dealing with shady landlords who took my money for this f'd up space that I rented to relocate the business.  We have a court date for June 26th.  I have paid this attorney probably $8K already and I still owe him $13K for this BULLSHYT!!!!!!  I wanna scream!!!!  Now you see?  How could I keep the business open and make payroll and pay all those credit cards if I'm running up a lawyer bill?   I paid rent on that place for damn near eight months and never moved in it.  All the while I was trying to pay rent on the place I was already in - so talk about stress!!  As I type I am banging on the keys harder and harder because the more I write the more pissed I become.  The bastards have already postponed the court twice and I told my attorney that I'm not sitting back anymore.  It's been over a year and I am tired of paying him damn near $400 a month.  Honestly the lawyer doesn't give a shyt about me either, but I don't have the money to switch up now.  I want to get this into court to see if I can win this, and June 26th better be it.  They offered me a $10K settlement but I am out almost $30K.  They treated me like a damn dog, but they got it wrong if  they think I will jump at a $10K doggie biscuit after they helped to ruin something that I worked so hard for.  I sit here with my heart racing because of the anger that I feel inside me. 

Question>>> Am I blaming others for my failure?

I'll ask the therapist next time I see her.

I did see an old college friend at the competition though.  He was the winner of The Apprentice a few years ago....

The world knows him as Randal Pinket, but on the yard in college he was just Randy.  He would kill exams and ace every class.  Everyone was on his jock - White, Black, Asian, Indian didn't matter.  I went to engineering school like Randy, and he was already a legend there.  Not only was he smart, but he ran track, and was the President of our engineering society.  He would win every scholarship so he wouldn't have to work a campus job (while I cleaned tables and was a food runner in the cafeteria).  He had his own business at school too.  I dated his track team mate.  I talked to Randy for a few minutes about things, and I asked him about his business ventures and how he got started.  You know this boy has NEVER worked for anyone?  He has five degrees including a PhD and never had to answer to anyone but himself.  He talked about reinvesting profits and marketing his business, and that he plans to make 5 million in revenue this year.  Wow!!!  It was a good convo, and after it all I could still say that he is still the same Randy.  It was good to be around a successful man.  His wife was there too and she had on a wedding ring from another friggin' planet.  I admire her.  She got her a good man who is smart, in shape, successful, and doesn't wear his ego on his sleeve. 

*Applause*

Now as for me, all I keep meeting are Leprechauns and busters.  Will it ever end??!!!   

There is another business competition coming up, but it is one of those where you have to rally people to vote for you on some website.  I hate those kinds of contests because that shyt is hard to pull off.  But I might try anyway.  We will see.

Taco Meat Ain't Always Tasty

Someone sent a funny comment about the nappy chested man I winked at....

I might be wrong for this, but I just wanted y'all to see what I saw on this dude's dating profile.  This was the dude straddling the bull statue (last post).  

So would that hair be a deal breaker?  I didn't realize that the taco meat was on his stomach too....hmmmm.  I bet his booty has hair all over it too.  His face is okay though.  40 years old. 

DEAL OR NO DEAL?

All I did was wink for now.  He had a LOT of pics with his shirt off in his profile, so he might be feelin' himself a bit.   Hmmmm....

From my phone...Today I begin Operation Sexy, and what better day to start than Good Friday! Ill elaborate on that more lata.

Summer is coming and I need to get serious about the Broke Antidote plan that I blogged about last year. The plan to Meet A Man With Money in His Hand has gone cold. So I've resumed 'winking' at folks on Match.com to at least build a prospect list. One guy's profile pic showed him on a statue of a bull with his shirt off and some shorts. Even though I saw that nappy chest hair I winked anyways. Lol. He had an allirght body and his face looked okay. But that pic of him straddling that bull took me to nasty places in my mind as usual. I guess I just can't help myself. Its the Scorpio curse. I need to stay focused though on a dude's potential and not his pee pee.

I see this ex tonight I think. And I must be excited cuz I even curled my wig last night!