Monday, April 12, 2010

Operation Sexy Has Begun

First let me say that it ain't fair.  Where are the websites where older women can find the young bucks who like cougars like me?

I ask that because the dudes on are a trip.  Forty year old broke ass dudes have their age cut off at 34 for women sometimes.  WTF.  Hell I barely look 30 but these azzholes always want some young booty anyway.  Men just have this damn fascination with being with younger women I guess.   So I've decided that I will pretend to be a little younger myself dammit.  I am gonna change my age in my profile today and put that I am 28.  Let's see what happens with my little experiment and my 'wink' quota.

But in the meantime....  

On Good Friday I launched my Operation Sexy campaign.  It's summer and ain't no f*ckin' way am I gonna be sittin' up in that noisy azz apartment alone every Friday and Saturday night.

First on the agenda, fixing my toes.  Yep I did it!  I had surgery on them bad boys on Good Friday.  It was the first step to living a corn free life.  I wanna wear cute sandals without having to put foundation on my toes all the time.  I mean what was I supposed to do!  I told the doctor that I did that and he chuckled.  Powder and liquid makeup does a lil' sumthin, but it just wasn't gettin' the job done.  

Ooh I can't believe that I'm on here talking about my feet.  Feet and hair have always been taboo subjects for me.  Well I said I wasn't being honest on here before so whatever.  It's out here now.

So I cut three of them.  I would show the pics but I already scared my ex-boyfriend so I'll spare everyone else I guess.  Ah, it really doesn't look that bad honestly.

But this ain't the first time I did this.  I had already chopped some of them down years ago, but there was this one that missed the knife.  The dumb doctor left this one untouched for some reason.  Hell, I figured that I have too much working against me already that I don't need jacked up feet too.  I rather have the little scars and keep it movin'.

So right now I am wearing those big surgical shoes.  A man looked at my feet on the street and was like, "I hope you get better."  LOL.  Man, I will be 100% better!  By July or August I'll be wearing some cute ass sandals and strutting down 6th Avenue like I was on America's Next Top Cougar

*snaps fingers*

Meooowwww bytches!!!

So while I'm healing my footsies I'm on to the next phase of Operation Sexy.  Can't waste any time ya know!  I can't do any running or step classes yet, but I can still do my weight training. 

I can see it now...I'm gonna have thighs that say POWWW! 

And with my cute feet too?  Puhleeze.  You ain't gonna be able to tell me nuthin'!

Hey I just got an idea!  I think I might take a pic with me sitting like Bey in this pic and put it on Match!!!  Yeah, yeah.  That's it.  Hell if a dude can straddle a statue of a bull in his profile pic I sure as hell can do this pose?  Why not dammit?  Man I love it when I type on the blog because I think of some great shyt to do!  LOL.

Of course having my abs, arms, and booty make some noise is part of the plan too.  I was already on it and I go the gym anyways, but I can substitute some of the cardio that I can't really do for leg workouts.  I'm on it.  I'm on it.

So right now I look a lil busted with these black shoes, and people actually feel sorry for me when they see me walking in them.  LOL.  But soon, very soon, I won't be getting any more sympathetic looks.  That's because when I strut down the streets of NYC I'll be swinging my hips, tossing my fake hair, and singing that Prince classic in my head...

Now come on, who doesn't want to be a sexy mothafucca every now and then? 



  1. Damn
    At first I thought that was your pict. but clicked and saw it was Beyonce :(. Your pict with the fish nets was "slammin" though. If your even close to those thighs I'm claiming I'm 25 and go stand in line. That's my story and I'm sticking to it :)

  2. LOL. Nah Bey's thighs make no sense, but I'll work with what I have though. Thanks bro for the compliment. I needed a smile today!