A sista with a dance school won the $25,000 prize. Not gonna hate either. She was a good choice. She started to cry when she won. Hell I am the one that should have been crying.
I know that I had some haters amongst the judges because people don't feel business concepts in urban areas most times. I couldn't help to feel some shame about the fact that my business closed. I felt embarrassed about it. Even one of the judges told me that one guy questioned that during the deliberations. But this judge I was speaking to said that I shouldn't feel like I failed. A lot of entrepreneurs fail at things, but that shouldn't stop me from pushing on.
But I didn't win. So isn't that another failure?
Anyway, I've heard it all before.
"Yeah girl, keep ya head up."
"Don't let him stop you! You'll be back!"
Well I don't need words. I need money. I know that sounds stank but that's how I feel today.
Like I said on my website, the business closed because my money dried up after dealing with shady landlords who took my money for this f'd up space that I rented to relocate the business. We have a court date for June 26th. I have paid this attorney probably $8K already and I still owe him $13K for this BULLSHYT!!!!!! I wanna scream!!!! Now you see? How could I keep the business open and make payroll and pay all those credit cards if I'm running up a lawyer bill? I paid rent on that place for damn near eight months and never moved in it. All the while I was trying to pay rent on the place I was already in - so talk about stress!! As I type I am banging on the keys harder and harder because the more I write the more pissed I become. The bastards have already postponed the court twice and I told my attorney that I'm not sitting back anymore. It's been over a year and I am tired of paying him damn near $400 a month. Honestly the lawyer doesn't give a shyt about me either, but I don't have the money to switch up now. I want to get this into court to see if I can win this, and June 26th better be it. They offered me a $10K settlement but I am out almost $30K. They treated me like a damn dog, but they got it wrong if they think I will jump at a $10K doggie biscuit after they helped to ruin something that I worked so hard for. I sit here with my heart racing because of the anger that I feel inside me.
Question>>> Am I blaming others for my failure?
I'll ask the therapist next time I see her.
I did see an old college friend at the competition though. He was the winner of The Apprentice a few years ago....
The world knows him as Randal Pinket, but on the yard in college he was just Randy. He would kill exams and ace every class. Everyone was on his jock - White, Black, Asian, Indian didn't matter. I went to engineering school like Randy, and he was already a legend there. Not only was he smart, but he ran track, and was the President of our engineering society. He would win every scholarship so he wouldn't have to work a campus job (while I cleaned tables and was a food runner in the cafeteria). He had his own business at school too. I dated his track team mate. I talked to Randy for a few minutes about things, and I asked him about his business ventures and how he got started. You know this boy has NEVER worked for anyone? He has five degrees including a PhD and never had to answer to anyone but himself. He talked about reinvesting profits and marketing his business, and that he plans to make 5 million in revenue this year. Wow!!! It was a good convo, and after it all I could still say that he is still the same Randy. It was good to be around a successful man. His wife was there too and she had on a wedding ring from another friggin' planet. I admire her. She got her a good man who is smart, in shape, successful, and doesn't wear his ego on his sleeve.
Now as for me, all I keep meeting are Leprechauns and busters. Will it ever end??!!!
There is another business competition coming up, but it is one of those where you have to rally people to vote for you on some website. I hate those kinds of contests because that shyt is hard to pull off. But I might try anyway. We will see.